It’s a Friday night, you’re about to hit your favorite bar or restaurant, and you are debating what to get to drink. If there aren’t any deals (which is always the first option, because broke), you most likely have a go-to drink order. Here’s what your drink says about you:
1. Beer
You are probably one of the bros in your friend group. I’m guessing you’re laid back, and are a pretty “go with the flow” kind of gal. If your first instinct is “I’ll take a beer”, you aren’t picky with your drinks. You probably have a favorite beer, but you’re pretty chill with your nights out, and will drink almost anything your friends throw at you.
2. Tequila shots
You’re probably that girl that gets on the table and takes her shirt off and dances a little too sloppy. It’s okay, we’ve probably been there one time or another – but save tequila shots for either (1) when you’re already really drunk, because I’m guessing you’re getting bottom-of-the-barrel tequila and you know that doesn’t taste good, or (2) do it Meredith Grey style and drink it when boys suck.
3. Vodka-something (well)
Ahhh, well alcohol. We all want to order top-shelf, but we have $3. Somehow, well vodka is the worst well booze that is out there. It’s like cough syrup on steroids. However, if you’re the girl that orders a vodka-cranberry or vodka-lemonade, you’re basic. Probably a Hunter-boot wearing, Starbucks-loving, candle-obsessed bish who takes a million pictures of every plate of food and posts Snapchats with the caption “OMG sound ON!!!” when it’s actually just you screaming the lyrics to Cardi B. We’ve all been there – it’s fine. As long as you know you’re basic.
4. Long Islands
If you’re downing long islands, this gives off one bold statement – you’re here to get drunk, and you’re not afraid of anything that can happen. The ratio of alcohol to not in a long island is ridiculous, and they’re too good to just sip – therefore, you’re guzzling almost straight alcohol. You’re fully prepared to get blacked, and if you end up in jail, so be it.
5. Malibu
Drinking Malibu-whatever gives off this idea that you probably can’t handle real alcohol, and that you’re a bit of a lightweight. You’re probably the girl in your friend group that complains a little too much. You drink it because it’s fruity and don’t like the taste of actual booze, plus you feel like a badass because you think you can chug through them – which you can, because they’re like 2% alcohol.
6. Wine
If you are ordering wine at a bar, odds are that you most definitely don’t want to be at the bar. You might be the mom of the group, because you’re acting like a 35-year-old woman. It’s saying “screw off” to any men, and that you would much rather be at home with no bra, wearing sweatpants, binge-watching One Tree Hill while downing a bottle of wine.
7. Rum and Coke
You’re probably another relaxed, chill, almost one-of-the-guys type of girls. Not really a girly-girl, you probably like alternative music, and you are almost too sarcastic. You probably act like you don’t want to be the center of attention, but you always are doing something that stands out.
8. Anything frozen
I’ll keep this one short and sweet: you’re not in Mexico, you’re in a college town, and the bartenders probably hate you. You’re probably that person who orders a grande double-shot-three-pumps-of-vanilla-soy-latte-light-on-the-foam type of girl, AKA extra. Don’t.
9. Margaritas
On the rocks margaritas are always a yes. This is probably right in the middle between the way-too-extra girl who tries to order frozen daquiris at a bar and the girl who’s taking off all her clothes on a table from tequila shots. You’re cool, relaxed and can handle your alcohol. Maybe you would rather be chilling at home or at your favorite hole-in-the-wall place, but you don’t complain because you’re just going with the flow and can make the most of wherever you are. You might talk a little loud, but you’re definitely the life of the party.
10. Vodka/rum/anything that isn’t the well
Okay, first of all, we’re in college. If you are ordering anything above well, do you charge all your drinks to your parents’ credit card? If so, you are living the dream – and not the college lifestyle at all. Regardless, if you’re asking for something better than well, you’re probably a bit prissy, a lot of extra and are that person everyone’s jealous of because you can handle being in 12 clubs, getting 8 hours of sleep a night, never skipping class and getting good grades, all while being a social butterfly. Eff off (still jealous though).
10. Fireball
You are probably the friend who people hate to love, and are very honest when asked for your opinion. If your bestie asks if that crop-top makes her look fat, you don’t lie. You also are probably the pusher in the friend group – the girl that yells “5 SHOTS FOR US!!!” when it’s a Tuesday and you all went out for one drink. You’re the friend that everyone wishes they had, even though they act as if they’re mad with your decisions. They’ll thank you later, probably.
12. Vodka-Redbull
You are probably the person who stays up later than anyone else – and when it’s bar close, you want to stay. You’re the friend that is always down for late night adventures, and will always say yes to drinking.
I could go on and on, but I’m going to go take a long, romantic walk to my fridge and grab a bottle of wine.
PSA: These were purely meant for fun – no harm intended. We all need to get roasted once in a while, right?