Relationships. Whether they are friendships, family, or romantic, relationships are an important aspect of one’s life. Every person you bring into your life serves a purpose and is more than likely there because they make you happy or benefit you positively in some way. But what happens when two of the most important people in your life don’t like the third most important person in your life: your significant other? Obviously not every situation is going to be the same and if you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, please seek help and support.
The first thing that should be done is a civil conversation should be had. Let them speak their minds and express their opinion, but most importantly, get a clear reason as to WHY they dislike your significant other. After they express themselves, be sure they allow you to talk and explain your side as well. Explain to them why you are dating this person and potentially mention good things they do for you and how well they treat you. Ask them if they would be willing to keep an open mind and make an effort to get to know your partner better. Whatever their answer to this question is, just know that is the choice that they made on their own and has nothing to do with you. You tried to build a bridge to mend the situation, and they decided not to cross it.
On your own, though, you should reflect on the reasoning of your parents as to why they do not like your significant other. Do they not like their lifestyle? Do they think their intentions are in the wrong place? Whatever their reasoning, just determine if it is extreme or true enough to act upon. Although you may be angry at your parents for disagreeing with you and your life decisions, they may be bringing up a valid point and are trying to keep you safe. On the other hand, if your parents do not like your partner for a reason that has nothing to do with their personality or how well they treat you (e.g. money, social status, etc) understand that you are an adult and at the age of 18+ they should trust that you are making good decisions that will benefit you long term. Superficial things like money do not matter the most and are not the sole thing relationships are based off.
Lastly, you should reflect on yourself as well as your partner. Have you had bad luck with relationships in the past? If yes, have you learned valuable lessons and watched closely for red flags to be sure that you aren’t repeatedly making the same mistakes? When you imagine your future with your partner, how do you see it playing out realistically? Is that the kind of life you want? Does your partner treat you the best that they can? Are they considerate of your feelings? Do you both communicate? Do you have trust in them? Are they loyal? And other questions of the like. If any of your answers are followed by “… but _______” statements, then you need to reevaluate and decide if these are things that you’re settling for or if they’re easily fixed by a little bit of communication you are lacking.
Remember that no matter what, your family should always be there for you and support you in your happiness. If they value you and your relationship with them, they will eventually come around. If not and they use guilting or gaslighting tactics to try to drive a wedge in your romantic relationship, you have to ask yourself who is looking out for your better interest and who truly supports you and your life goals more. Sad to say it, but sometimes blood runs thick, but water runs deeper and that’s just the way it’s going to be. As long as you have people in your life that love you and a great support system, then to me, that is living a happy life. Good luck girlies and I hope you find peace and a solution!