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Modern Love: Advice from Mothers

Our mothers are responsible for many of the lesson we learned about life, whether it be to just keep trying or to learn to appreciate the small thing these are all lessons instilled by our mothers . Among these advice, there are always lessons in love. As much as we like to think that things are different now,  everything is not so modern about love. The issues that we endure in relationship, in life and in love were experienced generations before us, which is why we should listen. The best advice I have gotten about love came from none other than the “mothers” in my life- mom, grandma, and my aunt. Here are a few of their cues that I always carry with me.

Love has no instruction

After years of being told what is appropriate, my mom confessed  “we spend a lot of time thinking about what is “right” and “wrong” in love, but honestly there is no answer. What might work for you might not work for somebody else.” This is when I realized you have to be able to analyze the situation, make a decision, and stick with it. If you want to call him, call then. You have to be prepared for the outcomes of the situation. If it did not go the way that you wanted it to, do not let anyone make you feel that you have done the “wrong” thing; you are no liable to take anyone’s advice. Listen to different perspective can be helpful, but at the end of the day the decision is yours.  Make  a decision based on how you feel and that is all that counts.                                                                                                     

Set your Standards

    Always have standards and expectations. Guys need and appreciate knowing exactly what you expect from them, it makes it easier for both you and him. Now, in the words of a mother this does not mean create a list of all your dos and don’ts. Simply, reassure him of what you expect from him and how you want him to interact with you. Do NOT bend on these standards; he will rise to the occasion. One of the most honest things a wise mother told me about love is “if your standards drive him into the arms of someone else, that’s fine you do not want him that way.”  When things are going bad in a relationship, we try to hold on and fix it. This habit often times forces us to bend on our expectations and standards, which gives boys approval to keep doing what they are doing. Know when to say when.

Love Fully

    Love is difficult, no doubts about it. You have to let yourself fall in love though, or else you will never know how to love, what to do in love, and how to sort through it. I believe this comes from a mother’s unconditional love for us. Take lessons from the love you felt growing up and follow your heart, it will lead you in the way that you should go.


Full time English/Studio Arts major, Full-time visionary. Native Chicagoan and a true city girl. In love with love and a frequent contributing writer for the HC-UIowa Modern Love column(however not frequent enough). Current endeavor?  Proud Editor-in-Chief of Her Campus UIowa, I am progressively expanding the chapter's reach through creative, fun, and informative content with a unique publication voice. I also have published content for diffrent on-line and print media. I love everything HC, but when I am not writing, editing, or publishing I am trying out the latest health trends in fitness and food, hanging out with friends, or fueling a bad habit of on-line shopping. Future endeavor? Editor-in Chief of a magazine something like Glamour, Cosmo, or Self. Want to keep up with me? Follow me on Twitter @EllandreaM
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