Following up on our previous article, we continue to illustrate just how easily it is for an intimate relationship to spiral out of control. In the previous articles we touched on: intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, and blame.
Keeping the previous warning signs in mind, try to imagine you are a little more than half way around the so called “Ferris wheel” and how continuing the ride will result in actions that you or your friend may not be able to prevent.
This is where violence tends to come in to play – if it hasn’t already. This is also the time where the momentum of the wheel is so out of hand, anything could happen.
ECONOMIC ABUSE: This is when he tells her, “you won’t survive without me helping you.” He tries to make her believe she is incapable of surviving on her own. This can break a person down and is very serious in relation to the prior situation – children involvement. This is emotional and mental abuse so strong that it could escalate to physical at anytime.
COERSION/THREATS: If you thought the signs before this were bad, you haven’t seen anything yet. This stage in the abuse is on the edge of too many underlying problems that will not benefit her at all to continue dealing with in her life. This means life or death in some cases. Although this sounds scary, it is the truth and a serious one at that. “If you leave, I’ll kill myself” or “If I can’t have you, no one can” are phrases very common in this stage of a relationship. Some women believe that he would not actually follow through with it, but the reality here is that if we can recognize that this stage exists – it has already happened, more than once.
Ladies, this is not a new issue – it’s been around just as long as patriarchy has been, so, forever! Lets step it up and do something about intimate partner violence.
The Domestic Violence Intervention Program is located here in Iowa City, and just a phone call away.
Whether it’s you, your best girlfriend, or someone you know needs help or advice, DVIP can help!
You can make a difference; just by reading this article you have taken a step in the right direction.
Check out the newest video for DVIP’s campaign!