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If Horror Movie Villains Had Dating Profiles

This Halloweekend, you decide to take a risk and download Tinder to find someone to go on a date with. As you’re scrolling through and swiping on different profiles, you come across a few that pique your interest and seem to want to go on a date with you. Who would you choose?

Hannibal Lector

Hannibal would be the ultimate gentleman with perfect manners that you wouldn’t even think he was somebody guilty of a crime. Be careful though, you’ll want to make sure that if you go out to dinner on your date, you’re not the main course.

Jack Torrance

Who doesn’t want to go on a date with a writer? They’re sensitive and artistic and usually not guilty of attempting to murder people with an axe. Need a suggestion for your date? Try anything that doesn’t leave you isolated or cause cabin fever.

Jason Voorhees

Who cares if he covers his face with a hockey mask? He probably has a good personality! To make sure that personality doesn’t change, though, make sure to avoid Camp Crystal Lake.

Norman Bates

He’s somebody you could take home to your parents, as he’s a business owner and a family man. Maybe too much of a family man. Whatever, he’s soft-spoken and sweet and definitely not talking to the corpse of his dead mother that he keeps in his basement.

Freddy Krueger

Freddy is the man of your dreams! You’ll be swooning over his appearance in every dream, even your nightmares.

Count Dracula

What girl didn’t dream of living in a castle when she was younger? As we grow up, we learn to settle, even for a castle in Transylvania. It’s still a castle at least, and you’re on a date with a count.

Michael Myers

He’s the strong, silent type, maybe even a bit too silent. Or maybe he’s just giving you a chance to talk about yourself more. Either way, he’s a good listener, unless he’s just asleep under that mask.

Pennywise the Dancing Clown

Sure, he has clown makeup on and hangs out in the sewers, but try to move past that. Although it might be harder to deal with him tormenting children…

Leatherface

Hopefully he’ll put down his chainsaw for your date. If you’re trying to figure out where to go, look for places that serve meat, lots of meat. As long as it’s not human, of course.

Ghostface

Who doesn’t want to curl up under a blanket and watch a horror movie? Cross your fingers and hope that he’s not taking phone calls throughout it, though.

 

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Rachel Green is a senior Journalism and Mass Communication Major at the University of Iowa. She is also earning two minors in Sport and Recreation Management and Spanish and a certificate in Creative Writing. She serves at Her Campus Iowa's Senior Editor, and is a member of Iowa's editorial team. When she's not working on something for Her Campus, she can be found studying in the library, doodling in her sketchbooks or curling up with a cup of tea and a book.  
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