We live in a cynical world. As college students, this commonly aligns with lack of faith in the opposite sex. I can’t pretend to say I haven’t had those moments—what can I say? Very generally speaking, boys are idiots. I could talk about this for maybe a year, give or take. Despite my unfortunate experiences, I still believe in romance.
Blame rom-coms, blame the social construct of being a woman, blame my naiveté, but I truly believe the perfect man is out there for me. And no, this doesn’t mean that he is perfect—I know nobody is—but he will be perfect for me. I have no idea if he’ll have blonde or brunette or purple hair. I don’t know if he’ll like the same sports teams I do. Will our political values align? Of course I have my deal-breakers, who doesn’t? But the rest is up in the air, including when and where and how I’ll meet him.
I was having a conversation with some of my co-workers a while back, and a couple of girls were giving the stories of when they first met their significant others. One girl had a one-night stand with a guy who literally bumped into her and spilled his drink all over her in a crowded, smelly frat house. Another started as friends with her current boyfriend in high school when he suddenly kissed her during a frustrating group project that wasn’t going as planned. Afterward, she said the words, “Well, that was weird.”
From recounting these stories, the girls concluded that “nowadays” there was just no such thing as the romantic, fairy tale meet-cute that so many of us have come to hope for. This made me mad. First of all, what classifies their stories as unromantic? They ended up with people they are still currently with and who (I would hope) they enjoy the company of. I happen to think the best stories are the ones that are unconventional and unique. And who’s to say fairy tales are not a reality for other people? Just because relationships of the twenty-first century now have a connotation of being so focused on hook-up culture, fuckboys and booty calls, it does not mean that the seeming adverse cannot exist.
I don’t intend to shame those who choose to partake in this culture, but I want to make it apparent that I believe romance can still exist. I long for a deep connection where we talk about everything from the massively destructive patriarchy to my odd distaste in black socks. A relationship where he brings me Swedish Fish because I had a bad day, or I make him a playlist just because I’m thinking about him. I desire a man that wants more than anything to touch my heart rather than my body, while physical touch is certainly still important. These aren’t ridiculous expectations, either, because I know what I want and what I deserve. Again, he won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for me. And you should never feel ashamed to be single (even if it’s been for a very long time, like yours truly) because you’re waiting for what you know you deserve. Because, sweetie, you deserve the best.