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How to Balance a Romantic Relationship When You Are an Introvert

If  I could choose how to spend my weekends, it would include coffee runs, grocery shopping, tidying up my apartment, and ending the night with sushi and wine. My boyfriend, on the other hand, would rather spend the weekend at the bars full of buzzing socialization. You could say that planning our weekends together can get difficult.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly four years since our high school days full of crazy nights mingling with close friends. Being extroverted was so much easier as a teenager. Eight hours of school each day and being mischievous on the weekends with all my friends seemed so easy! If I didn’t go out for one weekend at the ripe age of 17, I would’ve gone stir crazy. Now, weekends at home are all I crave.

I have always loved my alone time and decompressing on my own but over the past few years, having a social life has become more of a chore. I believe that the crazy social life I had as a young teenager fulfilled my “wild” years that many don’t experience until college. These days, my social battery runs out quickly, and when it does run out, I have to spend the rest of my free time alone. And if a friend or even my boyfriend tries to push me to go out for the night when I am set on staying home, I DO NOT budge.

As my boyfriend and I have gotten older and grown out of our wild and rebellious stages of life, it has become very clear how extroverted he is and how introverted I am. My boyfriend is the epitome of a social butterfly. He can make conversation with anyone and is such a natural at making friends so quickly, which is one of the qualities that attracted me to him. He thrives on night life adventures, no matter if it’s going out for drinks or going over to a friend’s house for a party. Whereas I only socialize like crazy when I am in the mood and my social battery isn’t dead.

Relationships are built on the foundation of compromises, and it’s the key for my boyfriend and me to fulfill both of our social needs when making weekend plans. We try to either do something fun and go out on Friday or Saturday and dedicate Sunday to a lazy day at home. Sometimes it even takes me a day to mentally prepare myself for a night of socialization, and that is completely okay! On the weekends when I absolutely have no ambition to go out, my boyfriend and I still make it memorable, just at home! We get tons of movies to binge-watch, have some drinks, order-in dinner (usually Chinese or pizza), do face masks, and cuddle the night away.

Don’t ever think that you are obligated to go out if you truly don’t have the desire to. If I am not up for having a night out at the bars, I just tell my boyfriend to have a guy’s night and it works out perfectly.

In the end, no matter if my boyfriend and I embrace in the lights of a nightclub or indulge with pizza in bed, quality time is most important in our relationship.

I am a junior at the University of Iowa double majoring in English and Journalism and Mass Communications!
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