I’m kind of a cynical person when it comes to relationships. I don’t know if it’s the new wave of dating, but I feel as if there’s a big problem throughout any age group of people: PLAYING GAMES.
What is “playing games?” Urban Dictionary defines it as: “when someone tries to mess with someone’s head, tells them one thing, but really means the opposite just to see how the other would act.”
Essentially, it’s when a person plays mind games with you and they aren’t being straightforward. Do you know how much time people would save if people didn’t play games?
I always seem to fall into this whirlpool when it comes to the “dating” scene. It’s full of casual hookups, and while one may portray that they might want something more, chances are they won’t. They only try to be nice to you when you have something they want. They either get off on getting you mad or making plans with you and flaking out on you, and high key it is SICK. I know that not ALL people are malicious, but I have yet to come across those people who are kind and straightforward. So, here I am telling the world my experiences. Here’s how to know if they’re playing games and how to stop the circle of doom from continuing and preventing heartbreak.
1. They’re flakey
They make plans, they bail and they take days to message back. It’s not worth your time if they don’t think you’re worth their time.
What to do: Don’t make plans with them and don’t make yourself available to them. Do what makes you happy and keep busy.
2. They ghost, but come back
You guys were having an amazing time snapchatting and texting each other and maybe you eventually hung out or hooked up, then all of the sudden they stopped talking to you, stopped snapchatting and stopped any form of communication.
What to do: Do not talk to them if they think you aren’t worth their time. So guess what, they aren’t worth your time! This is an appropriate time to ghost someone, but also tell them they pissed you off.
3. They don’t want to talk about what they want
They may be trying to be all mysterious and not opening up to you about what they want or how they feel. It’s one thing to not be open, but if they have not opened up to you about anything in the time you guys have been talking, that’s an issue. While everyone has boundaries, if you know nothing about them at all, maybe it’s time to reevaluate.
What to do: If being straightforward isn’t your thing, maybe hint that you want something else. This is the best time to be straightforward because nobody likes to have their time being wasted, ain’t nobody got time for that. If you are a straightforward person, just ask them what they want and go from there.
4. They’re talking to multiple people.
If you know they’re playing the field and you aren’t okay with it, either tell them or leave them. It’s better to voice your opinion instead of going with the flow on this one. If it’s a month in and they’re still talking to multiple people, it’s most likely they don’t want anything serious. Another red flag is if they talk about other people they’ve been with without you asking or just bringing it up in conversation, that’s kind of rude.
What to do: If you know that it isn’t serious, then you can also talk to other people. If it’s not, tell them before going on your merry little way and not having your time wasted.
5. They don’t support you.
If you tell them your dreams and aspirations and they don’t support any of it or don’t believe you can do it, that’s just rude. If they expect you to arrange your life around them, that isn’t a relationship, that’s control and that’s abusive.
What to do: Ask them why they don’t support your dreams and aspirations then tell them about the times you’ve supported them and see if they change their perspective. If not, it’s not for you and it’s time to move on.
While it sucks to realize your chances with someone are diminished, I’d rather be happy and alone than sad and playing games. No one likes their time wasted and it just cuts the chase down. If you’re a straightforward person and don’t like playing games and it’s time to tell them how you feel and what you want.
Photos: Cover Photo, 1, 2, 3, 4