Unpopular opinion: I’ve never really loved Iowa City, sure it’s a great college town, but it has never truly felt like home to me – until this year.
Like all places, there have been a lot of things that have happened to me here that make me so excited to leave, but lately I’ve had this aching feeling of sadness when I think about leaving behind the city I’ve called home for almost four years.
I’m the type of person that attaches to people and places like a leach, I latch on hard and I have a hard time letting go every time – even when I left my hometown to come here so long ago. But as someone who is graduating in less than three months, I’ve been trying to figure out how to say goodbye to Iowa City and hello to my next destination. While it’s an ongoing process and isn’t easy, here’s some things that I have tried to think about to make it easier.
Say goodbye to the places that have gotten you through your time here
For me, these places would be my apartments, the bars – specifically Sports Column – Adler Journalism Building and a few others. I recommend taking a momento from each place that you hold near and dear so a little piece of your old home can come with you to the next. So steal that glass from your favorite bar, take a flyer from a show that you loved seeing, steal that frat composite, etc.
I also have been trying to figure out why I like each of these places so much so when I decide where to move I can go somewhere that will have similar energy. Example, I love the new bar El Rays because of the live music, which is why Nashville is on my list of new places to move to. I used to love going to the Pentacrest my freshman year so a place with wide open space and better weather is ideal for me, like Colorado.
Remember that it’s the people that make a place and if they’re the right people, they’ll be with you always.
Lately though, I’ve surrounded myself with people who I know are going to be in my life forever, who I know are going to miss me when I’m gone. I waited all of college to find people like this, so for anyone just starting college don’t worry if you don’t find your people soon because eventually they’ll find you.
While the thought of leaving them to move across the country feels almost unbearable, I’m trying to switch my mindset to not being sad, but thankful. Everytime I’m with them I think about how lucky I am to spend my last months here with people who make life feel so easy.
Make memories now that will carry you into your next decision because if you’re ever feeling lonely you can think about them and know that they’re only a facetime or airplane away. I find solace in the idea that the friends I have now will be a part of my life no matter where I am.
Go on that weekend trip even if you have a million things to do, take all of the pictures and videos possible to make montages of, tell the people that make your city feel like home how much you value them. Most importantly, take notes of the qualities you like the most about them and try to find people like that in your next place.
Get excited about the possibilities of a new chapter in your life
Am I going to miss living 1 mile away from everyone I love? Absolutely! Will I miss Sunday drives picking up all of my friends from wherever they ended up after a night out? Duh. Am I going to miss sitting in my classes with the person I’ve had almost every class with since freshman year? Of course.
But while I’ll miss these things, I try to spend some time everyday looking at prospective places to move and the jobs that I could have. Graduating college and truly adulting is daunting and crippling almost; however, so was starting college.
I remind myself and I’ll remind you too, that coming to college was probably terrifying and exciting all at the same time, but it was also one the best adventures I’ve taken yet.
I make a list of all of the things that I love and don’t love about Iowa City to cross reference with new places that I want to go. I think about the kind of person I want to be when I leave and how it’s a chance to be a better version of myself. I get to move and be the person that Iowa City has shaped me into. I try really hard to make space in my brain for the next place that I’ll get to call home. I have a few trips planned to go to the places I may want to live so I can start really looking forward to it.
Remember that it’s okay to be sad about moving away from your safety net, the place you’re most comfortable, but it’s okay to start getting ready for your next chapter. Just because you’re happy to start something new, it doesn’t negate the time you’ve cherished here.
Saying goodbye to people and places can be so hard, but saying hello to something new might be the best thing you’ve ever done. You’ll never know until you go.