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Experiences

How to Manage a Boyfriend and Friends in College

We’ve all been there before: a friend gets a new boyfriend and you either never see her again, or her boyfriend is always around. Maybe we’ve even been that person (guilty!). Friends and romantic relationships are extremely important aspects of our life, but finding a balance—especially in the beginning—is tricky. 

Being a college student, it is difficult to manage a rigorous classwork overload, work, homework/studying and other responsibilities.

You spend so much time with friends, so in college when a significant other comes around, it can be hard to balance. In order to not hurt feelings on either side and spread out your love, here are tips that can help:

1. Remind the people that are important to you how much they mean to you

In your relationship, your other half needs to know how important your friends are in your life and how sometimes they aren’t going to be getting your full attention. Communication needs to be key to be able to express the importance of each other and friends into each other’s lives. Without that, you will be stuck in the middle between two people that you truly care about. 

Of course, you want to tell your friend all about the new guy in your life. But don’t forget to ask how they are doing. Be sure to discuss what is going on in their life, if they are struggling with anything or how classes are going. 

I am guilty of this. People cannot read your mind, so don’t assume and be sure to let the ones you love that you care about them. Maybe your friend does not understand that you are serious with this new boy, so now you won’t be as free as you used too. All you need to do is explain yourself and how you are feeling to both parties. 

You are dating this person for a reason, and whatever that reason might be, it is important for other members in your life to understand that. 

2. Schedule time for both

It can get difficult to make plans with the different schedules and priorities that everyone has in college. Never make your best friend feel like a third wheel. It’s a horrible feeling. 

College life is all about spontaneity! This could mean by going on a last-minute dinner with a big group of friends, last-minute chance to go to the Hawks game with a friend, or random coffee dates or ice cream dates to catch up on things if you feel you haven’t seen someone in a while. You deserve to have some freedom to have fun the way you want, right? 

You should never have to feel that if you pick one over the other that you will lose that person. That is not a healthy relationship in any way. But you should also make time for whoever makes you happy in life, you deserve to make that decision. 

3. Make both friend groups spend time together

One way that you can understand your partner’s life and other important people, could just merge the groups together. 

Try out going out for pizza one night, or go bowling to get to know each other, and you never know that maybe others will become friends and things will be easier to plan and spend time together. 

Having a committed relationship in college creates an experience that raises a whole new level and leads you to become more committed and consistent with a variety of other things of your life as well. You can either become more motivated to work hard and focus on your classes so you can get homework and studying done efficiently- or not at all. 

Depends on how you want to prioritize making more time for the relationships you are committed to. Never forget the people who meant the world to you before you entered a relationship. 

Those who are extremely important to you will understand the need for this. 

Natalie is currently a junior at The University of Iowa majoring Sport and Recreation Management. She loves to hang out with friends and family, watch Netflix, and photography! Instagram -- @natalieiacopetti Twitter -- @natalieiacopett
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