How To Be A Food Thottie

Being a food thottie is the woman’s way of smashing the patriarchy when it comes to dating. However, it applies to all genders and sexual identification because you’re basically just going on a date to get free meal. 

What is a food thottie? My roommate Kristine and I define it as a person who is going on a date merely to get a free meal. They are taking advantage of the current dating culture, and with the current societal hierarchy, women are able to hold all the power. While you will find out if you’re possibly interested in the other person, who doesn’t love food, especially free food?

While the word “thottie” has a negative connotation, that’s because society has given it a negative connotation. The word can just mean you know what you want. Here are some tips on how you can score your next free meal on Bumble or Tinder (unless you’re banned).

Be nice

No one likes a mean person. Even myself as a woman would not want to go out with a total f***boy. So be nice to genuinely be nice, but don’t be nice to lead them on. I would only try to finesse a meal out of them if you can bear hanging out with them.

Don’t lead them on

DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE. Leading them on not only makes you a bad person, but you could be getting the other person’s expectations up.

Put everything on the table

Don’t tell them that you’re just doing this to get a free meal. Just joke about how you BOTH get to eat real food besides ramen noodles or microwave mac and cheese. 

Suggest the place

By suggesting the place, you get to enjoy some of your favorite foods and possibly be expanding your date’s food preferences. 

Remain silent when the bill comes

I would try to avoid this before it actually happens by talking about it. It’s an awkward conversation, but a better conversation to get out of the way. I would even jokingly suggest before you go on your date that they should be and see what their response is.  Proceed with caution on this one!

If you want a second date, say, “You pay for this one, and I’ll get the next one.”

Try to finesse a second meal by letting your date know that you might pay for the next one. Only do this if you truly want to see them again. Also not kissing them until the fifth date to really trap them is another way to continue the food thottie way. 

Now go forth and use these tips for the greater good. People have been doing it for ages, but we’re finally putting a name to it. Also you have the right to do what you want, you DO NOT have any favors to return to them. #NoMeansNo


Photos: cover1, 2,