Everybody has friends. Well, hopefully everybody has friends. And everybody who has friends wants their friends to be happy as much as they can, and sometimes there is a problem with keeping your friends happy if you’re a girl… it’s called a boyfriend.
Not every guy is going to get along with your friends, it sucks but it happens. It isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, you’re dating this boy for him and he’s dating you for you, not for each other’s friends.
So what do you do with this problem? Is it really that big of a problem? Well, there’s definitely a list of things to try before some ultimatum sort of thing has to be done:
1. Talk to your friends and talk to your boyfriend. It’s incredibly possible that they don’t like each other for no good reason, but one might have a real complaint. Maybe your friends don’t like your boyfriend because he hits on all of them while you’re gone, or he stinks up the room smelling like bad weed and Hawkeye Vodka. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t like your friends because when you’re gone they don’t express interest in his sexual advances and complain about how much he smells like weed and Hawkeye Vodka. If either of them have valid (or semi-valid) reasons to complain, it’s easy enough just to talk to the other party and see if they can’t stifle whatever is making the other party dislike them.
This does get a lot tougher when your friends don’t like your boyfriend because they think that he’s not right for you, but that’s a tougher fix.
2. Try to get them to not hang out. If it’s a problem that’s irrational or you’re too lazy to fix, it’s a lot harder to hear two parties bitch about each other when they aren’t in the same room. Once again, you two are dating, not you and your friends, so there’s no real need for everyone to be hanging out together. If you were going to watch a movie in your room, but your roommates don’t like your boyfriend, maybe watch it in his room instead, simple stuff like that.
This doesn’t as much solve a problem as it shoves it under the rug for somebody else to clean up. Although, most conflicts exist for dumb and petty reasons, so being far away from each other for a long time might make them get over it.
3. Make them act decent around each other. There is a huge difference between people not liking each other and people making it clear that they don’t like each other. I personally don’t mind the awkward silent tension of a room full of people hating each other. I prefer it to a room full of people hating each other aloud, cause I have to hear the latter.
Just tell everyone, “Hey, stop complaining, and shut up.” Which is a lot easier to say to your boyfriend, because you can follow it up with, “Or I won’t do _______ anymore.” (You can probably figure out what fills in the blank).
Most people (girls in particular) are good enough at making a fuss that they can get their good friends and significant other to behave.
Still doesn’t solve whatever the real problem might be is there is one, but it’s what happens more often than people think. Think back to that “friend” that always gets on your nerves, but you have to hang out with because they are in your core group of friends or you’ve known them for twelve years and don’t want to throw all of “that” away. That’s all that you’re asking your boyfriend and your friends to do, internalize feelings and keep real problems from being solved.
4. Break it off with one of them. If nothing else works and for some ridiculous reason you can’t allow them both to exist as is, angry at each other, then you have to choose something.
Do you want to keep your boyfriend more or your friends more? Would it be impossible/inconvenient for you to break up with one of the two (because you’re living with either your boyfriend or your friends that he hates.)?
This all comes down to who you don’t mind losing most.
As a guy, beyond Saving Silverman there is no time that a girl would be such a bad girlfriend or at least so disliked by all of his friends that this sort of action happens and a guy needs to choose between his friends and his girlfriend.
Most of what I’m saying is try your best to fix the problem. Trying to ignore a problem even is better than just thinking it’s too bad to deal with, and getting rid of someone (or someone’s) that you care about.
A guy will be willing enough to just ignore the problem if you ask him to, if not, he probably wasn’t worth it anyways.