It’s November! That means stuffing your face with turkey and sipping hot chocolate while snuggled up on the couch for a Hallmark movie. It also means being surrounded by family. And if you have been away at college, you can expect the blatant question: “So, are you dating anyone?” And while some of you will go on to gush about the new man or woman you’ve been seeing, the rest of us will have to smile through gritted teeth and explain how we are “too busy to be in a relationship” and “not looking for anything right now.”
For single people, cuffing season taunts us every day. It feels like even the smallest things are a reminder of our relationship status. Not only do we get our time with friends rudely interrupted by couples in coffee shops and ice-skating rinks, we also have to act like we are totally fine with being alone during the holidays. Or, do we? Maybe embracing your singleness during cuffing season is the best decision you could make.
It is great to be in a relationship, but for those of you who are single, perhaps take a minute and think about what a relationship means for you. What are the positives? What are some of the drawbacks? What are some reasons to stay single during cuffing season?
As someone who has experienced dating during the holidays, I can admit that it is nice to have someone to cuddle with while it’s cold outside. It’s great to enjoy their company, spend time on dates, and brag about them to your friends and family from back home. However, relationships are a lot of work, and no one should get into a relationship without being willing to put in the effort to maintain it. As soon as fall and cold weather hits, there is an underlying pressure to jump into a relationship just because it’s cuffing season and, well, that’s what you do. And yet, many of these relationships will end in January, just after the holidays pass. In fact, Match.com reported that 76% of singles experienced a holiday breakup.
There are many pressures for couples during the holidays. Family is just about the most stressful thing imaginable, and the holidays mean every distant cousin and crazy uncle in one space for hours on end. For new couples, the holidays often are the first time you meet your significant other’s relatives, at a time when the drama is peaked. And yet, for those of us who are single, we get to sit back and watch as our family members interrogate the newest couple about how they met and “when’s the wedding?”
Family isn’t the only stressor for couples during the holidays. There is also the pressure of finding the perfect gift for your significant other. Unlike family and friends, your significant other’s gift has to be absolutely amazing – the perfect blend of useful, sentimental, and valuable. You have to find something that will match up to their level of gift-giving, or even exceed it. Single people tend to spend less time and money on gift-giving, and sometimes friend groups even decide to do Secret Santa instead of giving gifts to every individual person.
There are even biological reasons that the holidays may not be the best time to be in a relationship. Short days, cold temperatures, and lack of sufficient vitamin D can all provoke irritability and short tempers. Individuals are not at their healthiest, and this takes a toll on their partners as well. To combine this with a plenitude of overbearing family members and the pressure of a new relationship is enough to make any couple feel in over their heads.
And so, before sliding into anyone’s DMs, take a minute or two to reflect on your personal motivations for a relationship. How would you benefit? Will it be more hurtful than healthy? Ignore the social pressures that go into cuffing season and review your individual needs and wants. And then, if you’ve decided you do truly want to be in a relationship for the right reasons, go for it! Hop on Tinder, text that person you’ve been crushing on, rekindle a previous flame. However, if you’ve realized that your motivations are not as healthy nor as pure as you had thought, take the holiday season to enjoy being single. Let your nosy relatives embarrass someone else. Take the time to enjoy friends and family and not worry about the pressures that go into a relationship. Besides, cuffing season is overrated anyway.