Tinder boys are a special breed, but we all know that the type of guy you can meet really varies. We have our classic Tinder boys, and there are some telltale signs. Sometimes it’s hard to pick up on the specific breed of boy you’re talking to, so I thought I’d put it in a language we all understand… ice cream! So here are the types of guys you meet on Tinder, as told by Coldstone flavors.
1. Chocolate Devotion
You can only eat this ice cream if you have an insane desire for chocolate, and similarly you better watch out for this guy unless you are in it to win it. This is the guy who has mistaken Tinder for a place to meet his soulmate and likes to ask you deep questions late at night. This is the guy who, when you check your tinder, has always messaged you about when you can get together for coffee or to talk. When you don’t reply to him for a few days because, hey, this is tinder, he wants to know where you are and gets hurt that you don’t seem to want a relationship too. He may be dreamy or delicious at first, but ladies we all know that after you’ve eaten half of it, there is just too much chocolate, and you can’t decide if it’s good or if you want to hurl.
2. Cookie Doughn’t You Want Some
This flavor is pretty tasty but nothing that you would lose your mind over. This guy is the type of guy that thinks he is the cream of the crop and will probably greet you with “Hey baby” or “I like what I see” because of course you would love nothing more than to go out with him. At least two of the pictures from his profile are with other girls that he thinks will impress you.
3. Our Strawberry Blonde
The slogan for this ice cream is “So good you’ll want to bring it home to mama,” and the same is true for this Tinder boy. He is sweet and wholesome, and you’ll have to sit down after chatting with him and contemplate whether you are all right with having met your husband on tinder.
4. The Pie Who Loved Me
You’ll get to the bottom of this cup of ice cream and shed a tear because you never wanted it to end. Rich, sweet and satisfying, this Tinder boy will give you stars in your eyes, but sadly he doesn’t feel the sparks, too. You savored every bite though…
5.Creme Berry Brulee
This ice cream takes you to a different place, and everything is fruity and exciting. Blueberries, strawberries, this definitely counts as a healthy option. Creme berry brulee tinder boy isn’t actually from your neck of the woods; he’s just passing through on Tinder for the night. He feels really risky, so of course you meet him for dinner. His life sounds really exciting, but then he begins to get into some sketchy story about where he’s from, and you realize that despite the fruity appearance, this tinder boy is really bad for you. Even the name of this flavor sounds exotic, and it definitely looks (just like Tinder boy) flavorful and exciting, but not too far in you begin to wonder if this was as good of a choice as it seemed.
6. All Lovin No Oven
There’s a lot of sweet and sugar going on in this ice cream, and the same goes for this particular breed of boy. This is the type of guy that messages you right away, but he’s looking for a booty call. He probably drops a lot of mysoginistic comments, is the type that two seconds after you reply with “hi” asks for pics and is definitely the guy that you block and maybe even delete your Tinder because of.
7. Cookie Mintster
Mint ice cream is a rarity, and so is this tinder boy. Cookie Mintster is your classic hipster Tinder guy who wants a girl who is different and cares about the important things, like alternative music and finding the right coffee shop to fit your vibe. You find yourself trying to become more contemplative, and you end up adding a pensive selfie to your profile.
9. Banana Carmel Crunch
This ice cream is an interesting combination, and we’re not sure it really works, but somehow it seems to be doing well. The same goes for country guys on tinder. This tinder guy has “real life cowboy” or “gentleman” in his bio, probably the lyrics to a country song, at least two pictures of him with a truck, by a lake, with some dogs or with the American flag. He’s a classic, but we’re not sure how he became one.
10. Peanut Butter Cup Perfection
This ice cream is everything you could ask for. It’s easy on the eyes and on the tastebuds, and this tinder boy is no different. He is so cute you assume it must be someone catfishing you because there is no way that someone this attractive is on Tinder in your area and not in California modeling on the beach.
So many tinder boys, so little time. Next time, maybe save yourself the trouble and just make a stop at Coldstone instead.