Library Tips & Tricks Part 4

Bring something to do. You’ll need to take some breaks and sometimes you’ll space out glancing at Twitter after you’ve been staring at a thirty page piece of legislation that you still aren’t sure if it’s in favor or against the issue and you also don’t really understand the issue even though there is a definition section at the beginning of the document. I digress, bring things or play truth or dare with your friends. If you are in a room with a whiteboard, draw outlines of your friends like chalk around a body.

How to quiet your friend who keeps yell-whispering or slowly getting louder as they talk

  • Sometimes you bring friends to the library. Sometimes you can reserve a study room from 11 p.m, to 1 p.m. and be sealed off in your own private space and can talk freely. Most times though, you are across a table from each other or next to each other along the walls of the lib. As stated above, you’ll need something to do and talking to friends is the best. But sometimes there is that one person that always gets just a little too loud or grows exponentially louder with each sentence. Whispering is usually acceptable but no one else wants to hear about how you got drunk off of champagne at your cousins wedding, Tiffany. So how do you keep your friend quiet?

  • Interrupt them every time they get loud by saying “shush” or “quiet” or “shut up stop yelling, Caroline.”

  • Lean in closer to them while they talk. This will cause them to lower their voice because they see your listening holes are closer to them and their volume level is no longer needed or acceptable (not that it was in the first place).

  • Take your hand, palm flat facing down and gently motion downwards with your hand, like you’re turning down the volume. Also feel free to take your hand and clasp all your fingers together like you are making a shadow puppet or about to speak in a terrible “Italian mafia” voice. *Bonus: feel free to add “shut it down” while you make this gesture.*

  • Stand up and walk away. Abandon all responsibility of your friend.

  • Write a note on your computer, an index card, their textbook or anything else that’s handy. Ask them to send you a brief one or two page memo summarizing the content of what they are trying to loud whisper at you.

  • Slide off the wooden chairs under the table and hide there until the coast is clear.

  • Pretend you can’t hear them. Either ignore them so they stop talking or see how loud they will get. Impromptu social experiment.

  • Ask “Truth or Dare” and either dare them to pipe down or ask if they are aware of the decision they are making and if so, they will need a good lawyer to defend them.

  • Give them a bad Yelp review.

  • Eat the rest of their Roots bowl that has been sitting out on the table since 4pm.

  • Yell back and shock them into silence.

All else fails, get a new the one that asked you for a charger.