When I came to UConn as a freshman, I thought I knew everything. I knew I was going to be a marketing major. I knew I’d have no trouble adjusting to college-level academics. I knew I was going to make a lifelong friend group. And I thought that I knew myself. Turns out, none of those things ended up being true.
College has been one big learning experience, and not just in the classroom. Most of the time, you’re living through a life-altering period without even realizing it. It’s only when you look back that you can see how much you’ve grown, even when it felt like you were just going with the flow.
These last four years weren’t much like what I expected going into college, and my experience has been far from stereotypical. It took me a long time to accept that not having a cliché college experience didn’t make it any less valuable. I’ve gained so much from my time at UConn, and that’s what really matters.
Looking back on the past four years, I can pinpoint one major lesson I’ve learned each year. Though I’ve condensed these lessons into tiny sections of this article, each of them was born from a time that genuinely tested me and pushed me to grow. I’m proud to share them now because each one helped get me to where I am today. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Year 1: It’s OK to have no idea what you’re doing.
Let’s be honest: the communications major has a bad reputation. According to that one TikTok audio, it is “the dumbest major,” and in general, is wrongly regarded as a meaningless college degree. When it became clear by the end of my freshman year that a business major was no longer in the cards for me after a particularly tough semester (more on this in next year’s lesson), I was adamant that communications would not be on my list of potential substitutes.
The more I looked, the more frustrated I became. No other major seemed to fit me like I thought a marketing major would. I felt like I had completely lost my sense of direction.
Eventually, I caved. I clicked on the communications major and loved it! Every class seemed right up my alley, the flexibility to explore other related areas alongside the core curriculum was exactly what I needed, and the job paths I could take post-grad were endless. In May, I will be graduating with a degree in communications and couldn’t be more proud of it. The opportunities I’ve been given and have been able to pursue, all while being a college student, have been more than I ever realized were possible.
From this experience, I learned that it’s okay to feel lost and uncertain about what you’re doing. Sometimes, the path you least expect is the one that leads you to something even better than what you had planned for yourself. Not knowing what comes next doesn’t mean you’re failing; it’s just part of the process of realizing what is really meant for you.
Year 2: You CAN bounce back from a tough semester!
I finished my first semester at UConn just barely above the threshold for academic probation. After two years of online school due to COVID, the transition back to in-person learning was especially difficult, and on top of this, I had yet to discover RateMyProfessor.com.
I remember leaving to go home after my final exam of the semester, wanting to be excited about my first summer break of college, but instead, I was completely fixated on the fact that I had definitely just failed another exam. Rather than looking forward to returning in the fall, it felt like my college experience was now going to be plagued by the challenge of raising my GPA, something that seemed impossible after such a disastrous semester.
One year later, I left for summer break again, but this time with my GPA raised by an entire grade point, a summer internship lined up, and the following year, I would go on to make the Dean’s List twice in a row. I credit much of this turnaround to the fact that my next semester was much more major-focused, allowing me to take classes on topics I was genuinely interested in. Gen-eds can really crush your confidence, especially when paired with a tough professor and a subject that just doesn’t click, no matter how hard you try.
My first semester really left me shaken up, but once I was able to take classes aligned with my interests and strengths, I unlocked my potential and began to rebuild it. It’s funny how everything starts to fall into place once you begin finding out what’s right for you. Speaking of…
Year 3: Don’t stress if you can’t find your place right away — it will find you.
I basically had no friends until my junior year of college. I spent my first few years at UConn constantly stressed over the fact that I didn’t have the abundant social life I had assumed would be effortless to create. I tried everything, from striking up random conversations with girls in class to joining clubs I had zero interest in, just to try and make one friend. Nothing ever seemed to stick. It wasn’t until I put myself and my own interests first that everything else began falling into place, including friendships.
At the start of my junior year, I had basically given up on trying to make new friends. I figured that if I wasn’t going to have a super busy social life, I might as well do something creative. So, I applied for Her Campus.
Once I joined Her Campus, everything changed. No, I’m not just saying that because this is a Her Campus article —my social life truly did a complete 180. By doing something I was genuinely interested in, something that brought out the best parts of myself, I was able to meet and form friendships with like-minded people. To this day, I’m still friends with girls I met at my very first Her Campus meeting, even one who ended up transferring schools.
This experience also boosted my confidence in making friends, allowing me to form connections more easily outside of Her Campus as well. From the girl I met in one of my first communication classes, who I still keep in touch with after her graduation, to my study abroad roommates, with whom I spent two months in London this summer, everything (and everyone) really did fall into place once I started genuinely doing things for myself.
Year 4: The cliche is real: you really do find yourself in college.
Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I entered college with no real sense of self. I was basically a product of the circle I had known all my life, and had no idea who I was outside of it. I really have never been one to branch out, always seeking familiarity instead. But leaving for college wasn’t just about stepping outside my comfort zone, it was about starting an entirely new life and shaping an entirely new version of myself.
Before I left for college, I obsessed over everything I could do to make myself fit in. What should I wear? How should I act? What should my interests be? This was my chance to start fresh, yet all I could focus on was how others would perceive me. I spent so much time worrying about blending into this new environment that I never once thought about how I could find myself within it.
This year, my senior year, was the year I truly felt like I had started to find myself. For the first time in my life, I stopped trying to fit into a mold of who I should be and instead focused on becoming exactly who I want to be. It’s easier said than done, but I try not to worry about what others think of me or how I can meet phantom expectations. (As Mel Robbins says, “Let them.”) I make choices based on what would make me the happiest and what inspires me to be the best version of myself.
There’s always more to learn about yourself, and even when you think you have it all figured out, you probably don’t. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s how to be content with myself, and that is a great start.
If there’s one thing I hope others take from my experiences, it’s that growth isn’t always easy, and usually, it isn’t. It’s found mostly in the hard experiences that cause discomfort, uncertainty, and redirections. If everything were easy, you would never learn to grow because you wouldn’t have a reason to.
I may not be graduating with a degree in marketing, but my communications major has set me up to pursue a marketing career. Some classes were unavoidably just harder than others, but I still have Dean’s List on my resume. I never had a big friend group, but I made some amazing friends who will be in my life long after college. I’m still learning about myself, but I’ve stopped expecting to ever fully know who I am — these days, I learn something new about myself every day.