Breakups are not a pleasant experience for anyone, even in the most civil of cases. Breaking up with someone you at one point had chemistry with is one of the hardest things to do, especially after long-term relationships. Sometimes breaking up doesn’t always involve a significant other, but instead involves a person, or group of people, that you have trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets and who have stuck with you even during your awkward phases. One of the worst types of breakups are the ones with friends.
Growing up sucks. There is no road map to make growing up easier. It’s just one large guess-and-check problem, and often of times, we realize the answers we had were not correct. A large part of growing as an individual relies on the people who you surround yourself with. It’s important to surround yourself with good people who are honest, help you to grow, and strive for personal growth themselves.
However, life is not always smooth sailing. My friends and I often used the term “toxic friendships” to describe the people in our lives that bring us down. Whether it was with extensive drama, constant pessimism, or being two-faced, toxic people are very dangerous to any friendship.
Often, we find ourselves hanging on to these friendships for an array of reasons. The overwhelming fear of change, loneliness, and the unknown can make people hold on to these relationships. But the truth is, toxic friendships compromise the most important thing in our lives: happiness. Your happiness is more important than anyone else’s. When your happiness is being compromised by someone else, it’s not a relationship worth being in.
It’s not pleasant to have to break off a friendship from high school, middle school, or even someone who has been there since you were a baby. But people change, both for better and for worse. With every friendship comes memories that will last a lifetime, lessons learned, and personal growth. Unfortunately, some friendships reach their threshold and no longer benefit either party.
That’s okay.
Everyone’s life has people who are only tentative companions on their journey, and that is okay. Humans are not called to have deep friendships with every person they encounter. Nor are humans called to remain friends with every one of their close friends forever. We are called to aim for happiness and be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Friendships that prevent us from achieving those goals, are not worth it.
Stay happy, collegiettes!