Everyone tells you that your 20s are the best time of your life, but no one tells you how much growth and becoming goes into this period of your life. Your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and long-term planning, doesn’t develop until your mid-20s. So even halfway through your 20s, you are still growing into the person you will be for the rest of your life. Woah. That is a lot of pressure.
With all the talk of your 20s being the best time in your life while also growing, changing, and having this inevitable pressure to perform, your 20s can become a warlike time to navigate. Believing that you are “supposed” to be having the time of your life can prevent you from living in the moment. So, here are some things you can examine in your life so you can actually have the time of your life in your 20s.
Pressure
Your 20s are likely the last time in your life that you are truly free without obligations. The stress of making these years “the best time of your life” can put you under pressure.
This period of your life is often seen as a time to experiment and explore careers, relationships, and cities, before life takes on greater responsibility. But that openness can invite the belief that every decision must be flawless, that every move must perfectly position you for the future. The pressure to optimize your life can overshadow the purpose of exploration itself.
This invites a certain kind of pressure: the pressure to perform. The pressure to perform so perfectly that you are set up for the rest of your life. But the truth is, the best way to set yourself up for success is by opening yourself up to different challenges and circumstances. Embrace the uncertainty of life and trust yourself to navigate through it. Living in the moment can maximize your happiness while also keeping you grounded.
Openess
Studies show that individuals with more cognitive flexibility (or openness to new experiences) are better able to engage deeply and meaningfully with life. I am someone that finds comfort in having a plan, but there is a charm to embracing uncertainty. You never truly know what experience will come to you, and if you stick to a solid plan and decide not to stray from it, there could be so many experiences out in the world unbeknownst to you that you are missing out on.
Life does not only unfold along the routes we design; often, its most transformative moments emerge from detours. This essentially means that having a fixed vision of your life can hinder your ability to see and experience all that life offers. Opening your mind to the unknown can be daunting, but it invites many new opportunities to encounter experiences, relationships, and perspectives you might never have imagined for yourself. Even if you don’t necessarily enjoy stepping out of your comfort zone and straying from your plan, by stepping into new experiences, even imperfect ones, you refine your understanding of yourself and move closer to what genuinely fulfills you. While wanting to stick to a plan is completely valid and understandable, open yourself to new experiences and opportunities, even those that you never saw yourself doing.
People
Your 20s are a formative season of life, not just in what you achieve, but in who you become. The people you choose to stand beside you during this time quietly shape your standards, your habits, your ambitions, and even the way you think.
The people we surround ourselves with, the values that they hold, and the lifestyles that they lead have a profound impact on your values and lifestyles. So, it is important to evaluate the forces guiding you in your life. The friendships you nurture, the conversations you entertain, and the environments you place yourself in.
Growth isn’t only professional. It’s moral, intellectual, and emotional. The right people refine your thinking, challenge your assumptions, expand your perspective, and push you to be the best version of yourself. Ask yourself, are the people you surround yourself with pushing you toward your goals and making you a better person? This doesn’t have to mean just career wise, but their values should make you a better person and improve your thought process. Ask yourself honestly: Do the people around you elevate you? Do they inspire you to be the best version of yourself? Or do you feel held back, as though you have some hidden potential that isn’t being tapped into?
Perhaps the most challenging part of your 20s is truly learning to accept and trust yourself as you are. The more time you spend with yourself and the more challenges you face, the more you are able to understand how you function, what routine works for you, and how to succeed in your life all while having fun and embracing your 20s, as well as the rest of your life. Growth does not require constant excitement; it requires self-awareness. With independence comes responsibility, but also freedom. Your 20s are not something that simply happens to you; it’s an era of life where you can choose how to shape yourself and the rest of your life.
Living your life in your 20s doesn’t mean that you have to always be having the best time of your life. The truth is, there is beauty in the little moments. There’s a value in the growth that you experience and a beauty in all the time you spend growing into the person that you are. By embracing uncertainty and embracing the good and the bad, you will be able to grow and make the most of your life. With newfound independence, your 20s truly are what you make of them.