Ever since I was little, music has always been an important part of my life. At three years old, I knew the words to every song. Now, at the age of 19, my friends can’t explain why I am sing along to virtually every song that they play. In addition to other things, learning to melody and lyrics to songs were things that just came easy to me, and I believe it contributed to how music has shaped my life up until this point. Music is something that does not discriminate; it comes in all shapes and forms and means something different to each person. Growing up, I believe the music I was exposed to early on helped me figure out more of my personality than most other things, and something that showed me my likes and dislikes and what type of person I wanted to be. This is a huge part of my identity, but I had never really realized how much it meant to me until I got older.
How it started
My junior year of high school was a bit of a rough time. School work seemed to be piling up, and there was no end in sight (it was way too early for me to get senioritis). On top of that, I really just did not enjoy high school, something that I’m sure most people can agree on. Nearing the end of the calendar year, I was on winter break when I got sick. At first, it was an ear infection and a bad cold. Then it turned into a double ear infection and tinnitus. I spent my holidays lying in my bed trying to do anything to drown out the noise of the ringing in my ears. Watching TV barely helped (only when it kept me distracted), and other loud noises seemed to amplify the ringing. I wailed to my mom one night that I could not focus on anything else except for my tinnitus, the tinnitus that was now going on for two weeks of nonstop ringing. After throwing everything at the wall with nothing sticking, I tried music. I am not really sure what it was, but as soon as I played a song, it seemed to lessen the noise and relax me. This transformative feeling was something I hadn’t experienced in a few weeks at this point. Music was my holy grail. Harry Styles woke me up in the morning, and Frank Sinatra soothed me to sleep at night. I went through every genre, and in this time of desperation was where I discovered a lot of what I liked. I felt like a real-life Baby from Baby Driver.
The aftermath
Although this was a dark month and a half of my life, I credit of lot of my favorite songs and entertainment to this time. In this case, I always wonder if a thing like this had to happen in order for me to become as connected to music as I am now. I wonder if I had never gotten sick, would music have impacted me the same way? Now my daily routine looks very similar to what it was at that time. Music has literally gotten me through the day. Whenever I can’t seem to get out of bed, an upbeat Sabrina Carpenter song helps me, and Role Model walks me to class on days where the skies are gray. It all sounds a little clichĂ©, but I don’t know how I would be doing if I didn’t have these distractions to help me accomplish everyday tasks.
Looking back now, I do not miss this uncertain time of my life; however, I am grateful that a phenomenon like this came out of it. This time of my life introduced me to many various genres of entertainment and expanded my taste widely. My taste now spans from classic rock to slow folk music, and my over 20 playlists become the actual soundtrack to my life. Whenever I need a little pick-me-up or my tinnitus resumes, I know I have foundations and plans in place to aid me in rough times. I am not thrilled that something like that happened to me, but I am thankful that it helped me discover things about my personality and self-identity that I am not sure I would have discovered otherwise.