Commuting is almost never the ideal situation for freshmen in college — at least, it wasn’t for me. It wasn’t even wanting the untainted “college experience,” it was the disconnect from peers. When I got accepted into the University of Connecticut, I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford living on campus, but that didn’t stop my determination to have my “normal” college experience. Once I declined housing, I felt like I lost something. All of my friends in high school would talk about picking housing, roommates, and what they would get for their dorms. It felt like I was the only one who wasn’t fulfilling my dream college experience.
My freshman year is coming to an end, obviously, but I survived. I made friends, got that “college experience,” and was not isolated. It was difficult to accept that everyone I would meet was going to ask where I was dorming, and everyone had their own friend groups from their floor or building. I would analyze their reactions to see how I should feel about living off-campus, but eventually I got used to it and would respond with, “Yeah, it saves money and I can have my car on campus, so it isn’t too bad.” Lucky for me, I got to move out of my mom’s house and into my brother’s house. I still have the independence I needed during college, just a little different than usual.
As for staying connected, I work on campus — and have since my senior year of high school — which allowed me to make friends at work. Through work, I made my first friend. And a friend of a friend, then a friend of that friend, and eventually, I had a decent group. Although it didn’t last, I still appreciate everyone who took me in. I now have an amazing friend group I hang out with once my classes are done and during the weekend. I’m very lucky that I only live 15 minutes from campus, and the drive is beautiful.
Enough about me! My experiences have given me some expertise in being a commuter, so I hope I can pass it on to any freshman who feels the same way I did. The main thing I’ve realized is that if you put in the work, you will always get a good result. Put yourself out there as much as you need, and you will get what you want out of it. Here are eight tips for having a good time in college as a freshman commuter.
keep a positive and open mindset
The best advice I can give to an incoming freshman who’s commuting is not to let your situation limit your experiences. Put in the work. A negative and closed-off mindset will only limit you. I wish someone had told me that it’s so easy to find people who fit you. They will include you in normal college experiences like late-night walks, dorm food, and anything you want, but you have to allow these connections and experiences to occur. Step out of your comfort zone; that’s what college is.
Big feelings are to be expected, but pushing past them to make the most of the situation is too. This is the time of change. Be open to the good that comes with college, and be prepared to experience some hardships too. Not everyone will like you, work will be overloaded at times, and you may feel isolated. These will pass. You will find your people, work will be managed, and you can integrate yourself into the experiences you choose. It’s all about your mindset and how you handle what comes at you. Good luck!
college is not just school
Don’t just expect to be on campus for classes and studying. Home is just a bed now. All jokes aside, treat being on campus as your life. Spend a whole day there. Live like those who can’t leave. You are not an outsider because you can leave campus. So many juniors and seniors live off campus and commute. It’s normal. You are not alone in feeling like you don’t belong as much as people who live on campus, but you need to remember: everyone is new at this. Becoming comfortable with your identity on campus will get easier over time with exposure to the environment.
Go on campus for activities that aren’t just lectures. Don’t associate those boring, annoying, and tired feelings with college and the campus. Those feelings are just for lectures. Make memories that overpower them. Take those (safe) risks, and enjoy college. It’s a privilege to be able to have these opportunities!
Make friends in your lectures
My strategy, which I recommend to anyone, is to sit right next to someone on the first day of classes. Each class. I would walk in, look around for someone who looks nice, and sit right next to them. No space in between. Go right next to someone, ask “Can I sit here?” and introduce yourself. Works like a charm.
Although my friends from lectures never became any of my close friends, it’s a failsafe way to make friends while making lectures less awkward by not talking to anyone. Friendly faces are always great to see, and I still say “Hi” to friends I’ve made this way.
Get involved
Clubs, jobs, sororities, and fraternities — literally anything. I joined three clubs: Her Campus (obviously), Best Buddies, and the Psychology Club. I’m decently involved in these, but I’ve found a good balance that I’m happy with. It’s not even just meeting people that’s a benefit in getting more involved, it’s the experiences and activities you can do.
Getting more involved doesn’t always equal joining clubs. It’s going out and hanging with friends. I go out to eat and go to events with my friends. For example: UCONNIC! UConn is very deliberate in the vast opportunities students can choose to take advantage of. There are so many activities, events, clubs, and sports games open to students. Buy that ticket. Go to that event. You won’t regret it.
Sleepover!
Not sure if I just got lucky in the friends I made, but I have had so many sleepovers at my friends’ dorms. They swipe me into the dining halls, too. Experiencing a day of what they go through genuinely makes me feel bad. The showers? No. I love my own shower, my homemade coffee, good food, and car.
Some extra tips for sleepovers: bring a towel and be ready for the awful showers. I don’t have shower shoes or a caddy because I don’t need them, and my friends let me borrow their stuff, but be prepared. It’s so awkward walking from the room to the hallway and into the showers. Don’t let it get to you. Act like it’s your normal. That’s the only way to get past the weird feeling. I’m very lucky that my friends who let me stay over their dorms had open beds or let me sleep in their bed with them, because the floor is not comfy. The best nights I had are those spent going out at night and crashing back at the dorms, then waking up feeling so grateful I didn’t have to make my own breakfast.
Bring your friends out
You have a car. Use it. Your friends on campus are forced to stay on campus all semester, so let them free for a bit. Go out for (real) food and hang out. Getting outside of the college bubble is always memorable. Recently, I got 7Brew with my friends, and my drink wasn’t good, but my outing was redeemed when we got Moe’s. Blasting music and chatting will never fail to be a good time. Especially when it includes food.
If you don’t feel like driving people around, too bad. They aren’t using you if you’re along for the ride. You can even make them drive, but be careful. They probably haven’t driven in a while. Storrs is in the middle of nowhere, so you can’t really walk anywhere good. Expect to fit five people into the back, and maybe one in the trunk. All jokes…
Get into a routine
I’d like to say I’ve perfected my morning routine. I always leave 40 minutes before my class starts. It takes 15 minutes to get there, 15 to park and walk to class, and I get there 10 minutes early to class. It took a bit to figure out what times work best, but it was worth it. I am always on time, and if I’m late, I still get to class just before it starts. I drive all backroads, so there’s never traffic. Because I live so close, I don’t bring lunch or pack anything important. I have my backpack with my MacBook, textbooks (if I have any), keys and purse, bandaids, an umbrella, and a water bottle. If I have work, I am scheduled right after my classes, so I don’t need to go home or wander around until it’s time. I made my schedule amazing for the second semester, so I finished all classes at 12 p.m., and two days a week, I have one other class at 3 p.m., so I can go home and take the dog out.
My schedule is meticulously planned out, but it works perfectly for me. I can balance work, school, and my social life. Having Thursday nights free (IYKYK) and Fridays free leaves time to hang out with friends. It seems stressful and scary at first, but once you get into a routine and know it works, it is so worth it.
Spend as MUch time as you can on campus
I thought I spent a lot of time on campus because of my lectures, staying between classes to study, and working on campus, but that’s surface-level sh*t. My weekends are spent here. Evenings? On campus. After class? With friends. Go back to your friends’ dorms, go to the dining halls, walk around campus, and you can even go to the Rec. Just stay on campus. Live the double life. I have a group of friends, so it’s pretty easy to find people who are free when I want to stay and hang out on campus. Find stuff to do around campus like all other students.
Go out with your friends, whatever that means to you. Find something you all enjoy, and go do it. I’ve gone on runs, hiked up Horsebarn Hill, gone to the Rec, studied in random buildings, went Downtown for food, and so much more. The opportunities seem endless, at least at UConn.
Take these into consideration
My expertise in this topic is, of course, that I commuted as a freshman, and had a very negative view on the idea of not living on campus. Let’s be real: everyone wants to have the real college experience. Living independently and surrounded by people around your own age is so enticing. Who would ever want to pass up that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Not me. That was the last thing I ever wanted, but you can’t always get what you want, sometimes, no matter how hard you try.
Don’t feel obligated to follow these tips word-for-word, but take them into consideration. My experiences will be different from everyone else’s. I hope my tips are general enough to be beneficial for most people, though. Good luck, and Roll ‘Skies if you’re an incoming UConn student!