The female experience presents many unique and beautiful aspects, especially in female friendships, and sometimes in “stranger-ships.”
Friends talk for hours through tough times, take charge when another friend is sick or injured, and do favors for each other when in need. We might not think about it much, but a lot of this nurturing and support crosses the line of familiarity.
Borrowing a hair tie, helping a friend sober up, sharing a jacket in the cold, tucking in a girl’s clothing tag, and encouraging compliments are parts of girlhood often exchanged between strangers. These are moments I’ve experienced and heard of, especially as a college student.
Not only is this a phenomenon in everyday life, but girls supporting girls is also embraced in social media. Trends circulate that involve girls giving each other life advice or tips in comment sections. Some of these include posts that ask for girls below a certain age to ask questions about life for older girls to answer. These are wholesome forums for helping strangers out with aspects of girlhood they’re approaching or haven’t yet experienced.
Small aspects of support are often taken for granted as an essential experience in girlhood — doing nails, sharing perfume, makeup, and clothes, and styling the back of each other’s hair where they can’t reach. We also can’t forget “can you check me?” being the most unspoken but universally understood question among girls.
Girls also have a network of protection and awareness for their responsibility to each other when a friend or another girl is in trouble. Being weary of a situation another girl is in creates a layer of support that we give and receive to each other, not just as friends, but as women. We find groups to join when going out, and group with other women that we might not even know. We hold hands with each other through a crowd. We warn others of a possible danger no matter who they are to us. This isn’t our responsibility, but it’s a second nature that brings even the smallest of relationships together.
This goes from dangerous situations to defending friends and mistreated women to others, establishing solidarity as a community. Social media posts where girls defend unknown girls (even enemies) against men or those slandering them help support all women. This helps discourage the presence of internalized misogyny that has driven a phenomenon of male-centeredness in women.
Girls go to the restroom in groups, walk together, carpool, and go out in groups to strengthen their protection of each other. In situations, being alone is the aspect that leaves women vulnerable to danger. Even one friend or stranger can save someone. Being in a group, regardless of familiarity or relationships to each other, is a crucial aspect of protection in the female community.
Women are 50% of the population, so this isn’t an unknown or secret network, but it’s unique in it’s rejection of the cynical and antisocial human behavior patterns of modern human nature. It resuscitates and embraces altruism, which we think society has lost, and encourages neighborly behavior and an overall sense of closeness and comfortability within the female community.
Anyone with male friends, partners, or brothers can notice the difference the female community has in stranger-solidarity. Women are more compassionate when it comes to helping each other and support. Greater Good Magazine cited the Dalai Lama in his observation, affirming that “Females have more sensitivity about others’ wellbeing.”
This kindness and compassion between women builds a confidence and warmth between girls. Favors, help, and protection lead to a general kindness and uplifting female community, where strangers compliment each other and smile at acquaintances.
This is a phenomenon I’ve experienced and contributed to. On college campuses especially, this network is essential to build friendships and look out for each other in our introduction to adulthood. This takes the assumption that adulthood equals full independence, that in every situation we must look out for ourselves. This unspoken network maintains that women aren’t alone when they need a friend.