It has been two years since the start of the pandemic. I graduated high school online, and moved away from my hometown to go to college in the midst of a terrifying world state. Little did I know that these two years would shape me so profoundly into the woman I am today. Life was full of uncertainties in the fall of 2020. For the world it was, “how will we survive this?” and “how can I protect my loved ones?” For me, and many of my peers in our small suburban bubble, it was “will I have a college experience?” and “will I make friends?”
Through the struggles and unknowns I have been blessed to meet the most incredible people. I think that students, especially freshmen, clung to those around them for support and love because we needed a sense of family in this scary, new, COVID-filled environment. Differences didn’t matter, and clashing personalities were put aside because that sense of family and belonging came first.
I have never been more grateful for these friends; the first people you meet that seem like you’ve hit the lottery. High school is left behind, you can finally be who you want to be, and surround yourself with new people. It is a freeing concept, and one that comes with great risk and excitement.
Now that the world is opening, and UConn is shifting back towards what it was pre-COVID, it forces you to face the facts and reflect. These years will have an incredible impact on your outlook on life going forward, as this was a trying time for us during what is normally already a time full of transitions and self discovery. Conflict is bound to come up, and it might feel trivial because you’ve been friends for so long, but now you are free from COVID’s reach, and that is terrifying to a group dynamic.
We’ve holed ourselves up in our UConn bubble, with the same people, through online classes, virtual events, and masks in our dorms. Broadening your horizons outside that initial friend group was nearly impossible. Now, masks are off, classes are in person, and life moves on, and that means stepping outside your dorm room and living again. A shift in the people you surround yourself with is bound to happen, and that degree of change will look different for everyone.
Something that many of us have learned from high school and growing up is that when your world gets too narrow, and your friends become too close it can be toxic and isolating. In the moment it is amazing, and you should cherish those memories, but when a singular event occurs that is out of the norm, it can lead to extreme and unnecessary conflict. If that happens then, I believe, it is a sign of more deep rooted issues. Despite how much it hurts, to feel like you betrayed your friends, or they betrayed you, is a part of life. Life beyond the bubble is hard, being social is hard, understanding these dynamics is hard. Once we face these realities again it will shake up the status quo, and may lead to what feels like the end of an era.
It isn’t.
Take advantage of change, it is scary, but we can’t continue to live in our bubbles forever because then you miss out on life, and there is so much out there to see and do. If that upsets someone, then maybe you are better off leaving that relationship in the past. Never forget the good times, and the bad will look smaller and smaller with time.
I recently took an Uber home for a few days, just to escape for a bit. Little did I know, whilst I was climbing into a massive white F-150, that I would meet the most interesting and insightful man. He was like a fairy godmother in the form of a 65 year old retired trucker. Jeff, that was his name, completely changed his life around within the last few years to do what he loves, which includes his consulting business, Uber-ing, and dancing. He cherishes the conversations and people he meets while driving, and hopes to be that light for them in hard times, and that is exactly what he was for me. He taught me firstly, the importance of taking care of your mind, but also that there is so much to see beyond your college years, and so many people to meet. You shouldn’t limit your opportunities, or circle because the beauty of life comes unexpectedly. He waited 40 years to do what he loves, and has never been happier. Chase your dreams despite the fear because you don’t want to wait 40 years for contentment, and the oxymoronic shelter of COVID is finally melting away.
At the end of the day, love is a complicated thing. I love my friends, I love what they have meant to me during the pandemic, but we are at a standstill. Is it time to branch out again? I’m tired of feeling trapped by COVID, and living in a way that is for the good of the group, not the individual. This was necessary to survive and adapt to our new world, but now you are able to start living for yourself again, and is it so wrong to take advantage of that? The people that love you will understand. Whether or not they seem to understand now, deep down they want you to be happy. Feelings get hurt, and change can be alarming, but without it who are we to become?