With the official start of the fall season, many of us are starting to rewatch some of our favorite classic autumnal media pieces like Gilmore Girls, Twilight, American Horror Story, Scream Queens, or The Vampire Diaries. While I love all of these and recognize their cozy, nostalgic appeal for the season, the female characters these shows and movies revolve around can provide insight into the shifts in how Western femininity is portrayed in pop culture. There was a time when being “not like other girls” was a sought-after comment. After all, who doesn’t want to be unique and stand out from others, especially to a potential romantic interest? However, when this comment is treated as flattery, it implies that being a “basic girl” or having things in common with other girls is negative. This stigma does not extend to men being similar to their peers. Ultimately, we should all feel free to have whatever interests or traits we desire, regardless of how they are socially perceived. However, could these forms of media subconsciously be perpetuating the idea that femininity is embarrassing?
The female protagonists of these shows all have clear personality distinctions while sharing one defining characteristic: they aren’t like their average “girly” peers. The female background characters become caricatures of teenage girls; they care about makeup, prom, boys, their sorority, and popularity status, while the main character denounces these things. Take Twilight’s Bella Swan, for example. She is quiet, more plain in her appearance, and explicitly says that she cares more about books than buying a prom dress. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these characteristics; however, it is made abundantly clear that the other characters, specifically her male counterparts, prefer her because of this. Her female peers are looked down on for having feminine interests that are portrayed as silly or frivolous. Bella is put on a pedestal because she denounces these “stereotypical” interests.
This trope repeats itself in media of the early to mid-2000s as well. In Gilmore Girls, whenever one of Rory Gilmore’s love interests has a new girlfriend, she is portrayed as being more shallow than Rory. This shallow personality is shown to the audience via the girl working at a makeup counter, only wearing pink, or listening to female pop artists. In The Vampire Diaries, the male romantic prospects consistently “choose” the tortured and quiet Elena Gilbert over her friend Caroline, the hyper-feminine popular cheerleader. Caroline’s character even has a monologue in the show about this exact phenomenon.
I believe that these shows had positive intentions when writing these characters, and I don’t believe that any of these shows are inherently misogynistic toward these characters. I still hold a favorable view of these nostalgic and, at times, campy media pieces. I do not have any disdain for Bella Swan, Rory Gilmore, or Elena Gilbert. As the likable protagonists of the show, they have many great qualities that are progressive for female media characters, such as strength, resilience, independence, and, above all, they show the audience moral correctness. I don’t think that by virtue of being one of the “not like other girls” caricatures, they are bad characters to like. They can still shape positive views of women. On the opposing side, though, “girly” characters are the plot antagonists not because they’re feminine, but because they are superficial. They are often mean-spirited, talk down to those who are not attractive, are overly focused on status, etc. But this still asks the question: why is it that these negative characteristics must be synonymous with being feminine?
What does this mean for cultural views of femininity? By teaching us that there are distinct interests women and girls are supposed to have, then turning around and shaming us for having them, we are programmed to believe that femininity is embarrassing, that we should not seek female friendships, and that we should want to be “one of the boys.” Many women, me included, can remember being little girls and despising pink for some unknown reason, even though we might love the color now. I can recall an ex-boyfriend of mine being disappointed in me after he found out that I listened to Sabrina Carpenter, because she was an artist for “basic girls.” However, we never hear these standards or judgments directed at men. Men are rarely told they shouldn’t be interested in sports or male artists, because lots of other guys like them. We do, at times, see men made fun of for having “feminine” interests, while women are allowed and even encouraged to be interested in traditionally masculine things. The common theme here is that a certain amount of shame is attached to these “girly” hobbies. Everyone should be encouraged to be interested in whatever they want, regardless of their gender identity. But perhaps we as a culture need to pay more attention to why we deem certain things cringe and others not. Have we been programmed to judge things unnecessarily by the beloved shows, movies, even songs we grew up with? I ask you, the readers, to be more embracing of interests that may be different from your own, and if you do find yourself being judgmental or turning your nose up at others, it is important that you take the time to consider why that is.