I didn’t really notice it at first, but I’ve come to realize that I feel like a slightly different version of myself depending on where I am on campus. It’s not anything dramatic, but my energy, my thoughts, and even how I interact with people seem to shift throughout the day. Whether I’m in class, walking across campus, in my dorm, or sitting in the dining hall, I’ve started to notice all these small versions of me that show up in different places.
in Class
In class, I’m the version of myself that’s trying to have it all together. I open my laptop, pull up my notes, and tell myself I’m going to stay focused the entire time. I usually start off strong. I type everything the professor says, actually paying attention, and feeling like I have a good handle on things. However, as the lecture progresses, my focus begins to drift. I’ll catch myself checking the time, thinking about what I need to do later, or just scrolling on my phone for a few seconds that somehow turn into longer distractions than I planned. It’s not that I don’t care about my classes; it’s more like my attention has to constantly be pulled back into the room.
When I’m in class with a friend, the experience is slightly different. I’m still trying to pay attention and take notes, but there’s an added layer of comfort knowing someone I know is sitting there too. Sometimes it’s just small things, like glancing over and exchanging a quick look when something is confusing, or sending a text about what we’re going to eat after class. It makes the class feel a little less isolating. Even if we’re not talking the entire time, just knowing someone else is experiencing the same lecture changes the energy. It feels less like I’m going through it alone and more like we’re both just trying to get through it together.
Walking around campus
Walking across campus is another version of me entirely. Most of the time, I have my headphones in, and I’m moving quickly from one place to another. I’ll be checking emails, thinking about assignments I have to finish, or mentally planning out the rest of my day. I even find myself looking at the dining hall menu before I get there just to decide what I want ahead of time. It’s a quiet, in-between version of me that feels a little more detached, like I’m just trying to stay on top of everything and move efficiently from one responsibility to the next.
But when I’m walking with a friend, that version shifts almost immediately. Instead of being in my head, I’m present in the conversation. We’re catching up on random things, laughing about things that probably aren’t even that funny, and talking about anything that comes to mind. The same walk that normally feels like just getting from point A to point B turns into something I actually look forward to. I’m not thinking about my to-do list or my emails in those moments. I’m just there, talking and walking and not overthinking anything. It’s interesting how quickly my mindset can change just because I’m not alone.
In my dorm
In my dorm, I’m probably the most unfiltered version of myself. This is where I fully relax, and honestly, where I stop trying to be productive for a while. I’ll sing out loud for no reason, lie in bed longer than I planned to, and just exist without feeling like I need to do something all the time. My dorm is less about structure and more about recovery. It’s the place where I can decompress after a long day of classes, assignments, and constantly being “on” around other people.
When my roommate is there, the energy is similar but shared. We both kind of fall into this comfortable space where we’re not really trying to do anything productive, and that’s okay. We’ll talk about random things, laugh about small moments from the day, or just sit in silence while scrolling on our phones. A lot of the time, we’ll end up sending each other TikTok’s even though we’re sitting right next to each other. It is one of the few spaces where I don’t feel like I have to perform or keep up with anything.
in the dining hall
The dining hall version of me is also very different depending on the day. Most of the time, when I’m alone, I like sitting by the window. I’ll eat while scrolling on TikTok, just taking a break from everything going on. It’s a quieter version of me, one that’s just observing everything around me while staying in my own space. Even in a room full of people, I can feel completely in my own world, just decompressing for a bit before moving on to whatever I have next.
When I’m with a friend in the dining hall, though, everything changes. I’m more outgoing, more engaged, and way more talkative. We’ll sit there and talk about everything. Like what happened during the day, random thoughts, and plans for later. The meal turns into more of a hangout than just eating. There’s a lot more laughing, a lot more energy, and the space feels completely different even though it’s the same physical place. It’s interesting how much the people around me influence not just my mood, but how I experience something as simple as a meal.
I think what I’m starting to realize is that all of these versions are still me. None of them is fake or separate; they’re just different versions of me that show up depending on where I am and who I’m with. College isn’t really about having one consistent identity all the time. It’s more moving through different environments and adjusting without even thinking about it. Some versions of me are more focused, some are more social, some are more tired, and some are just existing without much thought at all.
And maybe that’s what makes it feel so real. I’m not one fixed version of mold — I’m still figuring it out, still shifting, still noticing all the small ways I can change depending on the moment. And instead of feeling confused, it actually feels kind of normal. College is learning all the different versions of yourself that show up along the way.