I associate the reality TV show Dance Moms heavily with my childhood. I was a dancer myself, growing up in studios that were thankfully far less chaotic than the infamous Abby Lee Dance Company. Every week, I would sit down with my mom and watch the drama and theatrics. Chloe and Christi were always my favorite mother-daughter duo, consistently positioned as the underdogs of the team. Chloe was graceful, kind, and seemed to rise above the shouting matches, despite how Abby painted her as a sneaky brat. Back then, I saw Dance Moms as just a show. Something exaggerated for entertainment, funny and wild, and not to be taken seriously. In school, you see kids cry and fight all the time, so it never fazed me when Maddie would freak out or Kendall cry from anxiety.
But rewatching it now, as an almost 22-year-old adult, I feel something I never expected: discomfort and horror.
The show first premiered on Lifetime in 2011 and followed dance instructor Abby Lee Miller and her troupe of young dancers along with their stage moms. Abby is known to be tough-talking, hot-headed, and incredibly manipulative of her team. She put insane pressure on little girls to win national competitions, pitted them against each other, and blatantly played favorites over the 7+ seasons. At face value, it’s a peek into the high-pressure world of competitive dance. But beneath the trophies and rhinestones lies a much darker reality: children being yelled at, their confidence torn down, and thrust into the public eye without any real say. A
s a kid, I was entertained by the moms’ feuds and screaming matches. I saw the drama as over the top and understood that reality TV is produced to some degree. Now, I see emotional manipulation and exploitation of children who love to perform and just want to please their dance teacher and their mothers. The cameras never turned off and captured every raw moment of emotion.
Dance Moms is a clear example of the popularity of reality TV in the early 2000s, where ordinary people became stars overnight. But Dance Moms wasn’t just about adults choosing fame and fortune, it featured children who didn’t really consent to the long-term consequences of being on television. Over the years, the show has faced waves of controversy. Abby Lee Miller’s coaching style has been labeled as verbally abusive. Several cast members, including my favorite dancers, have spoken out about the emotional damage the show caused. Abby has been sued multiple times and had public feuds. Lifetime even severed ties with her over resurfaced accusations of racism.
I believe what’s most unsettling is how normalized it felt at the time of release. The show was one of the first of its kind. Not many reality shows in the 2000s featured kids as the main cast. As viewers, we accepted the yelling, favoritism, and staged conflict because it was “just TV.” But when real kids are involved, it’s not just TV. This show was their actual childhood. Now, after working with children in an educational setting, I wonder how many lines were crossed in the name of entertainment. How many moments were edited for drama or even cut for being too unethical? If the content on TV is hard to watch, how much footage was unaired or cut? What does it say about our culture that a show like Dance Moms was a massive hit, and that kids like me, who should have known better from our own dance experiences, thought it was fine?
There’s no denying the talent of the dancers, nor the impact the show had on dance culture. But as we become more aware of the ethical issues surrounding child influencers and trauma from reality TV, we might want to rethink what content we watch and consume so casually.