Los Angeles native Jhené Aiko released her fourth studio album, Westside Whimsy, on Sept. 11, 2026. Six years after her last album, Westside Whimsy discusses the singer’s personal journeys through love, loss, and self-empowerment, blending the artist’s soothing R&B melodies with classic hip-hop elements as an overall homage to California. Upon first listen, I immediately fell in love with the raw, vulnerable lyricism that spoke to my soul. I was surprised when I opened social media to see many fans criticizing the artist as male-centered and too focused on relationships. While the album received lots of love, these reviews stood out to me. Why is it that when a woman writes honest, sometimes sad, music about her love life, she receives so much backlash?
Lately, on social media, women are getting dragged for being relationship-focused or trying too hard for another person. There is some validity in this, I think, because no one should be uprooting their entire life and losing themselves completely for a relationship that is hurting them. But people are people, and love hurts. And for a musician, writing songs about their experiences is a way to process these feelings and can be great for a listener to connect with. Men have always written about the same things, yet they rarely get the same flak for it!
Seeing these posts reminds me of what everyone said about Taylor Swift in the early 2010s. “All she writes are breakup songs!” First of all, this is factually incorrect. Even 10 years ago, Swift had plenty of songs about much more than breakups. But sure, okay, many of her early songs are about boy troubles and relationship drama. So what? Many teenage girls experience the relationship highs and lows that Swift sang about when she was a teenager. It’s fun, relatable, and real.
SZA has faced similar charges that her music is too consumed with men. Her 2017 release, CTRL, was a groundbreaking debut album and remains a personal favorite album of all time. The album begins with her mother talking about the fear of losing control, which sets up the central theme of the album: gaining, losing, and redefining control in SZA’s life and relationships. The painfully honest words, “Leave me lonely for prettier women / You know I need too much attention / For sh*t like that…/ Why I can’t stay alone just by myself? / Wish I was comfortable just with myself / But I need you,” reflect the singer’s deep insecurities and fears for her future.
A few songs later on the album, SZA sings to another girl about keeping her man company on just the weekend, while the other girl can have him during the week. On its own, one might say she is male-centered and lacking self-respect. But listen to the album as a whole to understand the feelings behind it. She is afraid to be alone and wants to take back control any way she can, a feeling shared by many women of all ages.
In a different vein, the mature, dark lyricism of Lana Del Rey has found itself the target of similar criticisms as Swift and Aiko. Sure, hearing a young woman sing “He hit me and it felt like a kiss…/ Give me all of that ultraviolence,” (referencing the 1962 The Crystals song) might be jarring to some. But these words aren’t meant to promote domestic violence; they’re meant to explore the confusing feelings someone in an abusive relationship may feel. She quotes The Crystals to explore a taboo feeling, not endorse it. In fact, the singer is often condemned for “glamorizing abuse” but to me, this is a surface-level read of her work.
Calling her male-centered and saying she romanticizes not-so-romantic experiences is ignoring the artistry of writing upsetting lyrics about lived experiences. Del Rey’s art is not meant to be a PSA against unhealthy relationships. As Reddit user TheSilkyBat stated, “Good art doesn’t always make you feel good. It should just make you feel.”
To blame her for writing upsetting lyrics is to purposely misunderstand them.
I want to revisit Aiko’s Westside Whimsy. The second song, “Ghost,” talks about wanting to make changes for oneself while reflecting on her past experiences. It is the thesis of her album, a journey of self-discovery while dealing with lingering past traumas and navigating new challenges. She sings, “I got a vision for myself / I gotta get it for myself / I gotta listen to myself / In competition with myself / This is between me and myself / I don’t need help, I need myself.” No one is being centered on her album except for herself. This is a major step for Aiko, who has sung about the many ups and downs in her personal life. She is maturing and learning how to stand up for herself. But since she still has songs about men on the album, she is called “too male-centered.” This reflects the core of the issue: women who are honest about relationships and emotions will never be respected.
Female artists have long been scorned. People assume that music made by men is more thoughtful and about the world, whereas women-made art is just about relationships. I also think many people are uncomfortable with the level of vulnerability in some of these women’s music. As women, we are often told to hide our feelings, whether good or bad. Yet a man can sing about disrespecting women, sex, and violence and get praised for it.Â
There is a clear double standard in how we treat male and female musicians, rooted in thousands of years of patriarchy. Before we judge music, we have to listen to it thoughtfully and think about the meaning behind it, and then think about where these criticisms come from and the misogyny they’re rooted in.Â