Every girl grows up hearing the same tale as old as time: grow up, fall in love with a prince, and live happily ever after. For as long as many women can remember, their worlds were written around men’s lives. Grow up, get married to a nice man, and have children who take his last name. Oh, you don’t want to work? Then marry a rich man, and you can follow behind him. If you don’t want to get married to a man at all, then you’re miserable and your only friends are your cats.
Vogue recently released a viral article called “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” Women all across the country are reading the article and feeling a sense of liberty. The article discusses why most modern women are stepping away from relationships and choosing lives that feel freer and more fulfilling. Women are redefining relationships and prioritizing themselves in response to common modern dating dynamics we see. Women are no longer building their lives around having a boyfriend or making their relationship status the center of their personality. Instead, they fuel what matters most: their own goals and experiences.
In a society where men previously held all the control, women are steadily taking that control and independence back, simply by decentering men from their lives. This difference can be seen especially when inspecting the power dynamics in modern relationships.Â
In my opinion, there are two types of women in relationships: girls with boyfriends and “the girlfriend.” The “girlfriend” centers her life around her boyfriend, shrinking her own opinions and priorities, which essentially dulls her essence. In fact, you probably know her, she’s the girl who mentions her boyfriend constantly and never dares to disagree with him. The girl with a boyfriend maintains her own life, passions, and ambitions. The boyfriend is an addition to her life as opposed to what it revolves around. The Vogue article creates a term, Boyfriend Land, “a world where women’s online identities centered around the lives of their partners, a situation rarely seen reversed”. Having a boyfriend can become embarrassing when women begin to give up parts of themselves so their boyfriend can become their whole world, the exact dynamic that Boyfriend Land describes.
 “…the script is shifting. Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore; it is no longer considered an achievement, and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single.”
Joseph, Chanté. “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” Vogue, 29 Oct. 2025.
This pressure to mold yourself around a man shows up not only in relationships, but also in the rarely-defined purgatory of situationships. Situationship culture is built on a fear of commitment and the constant push and pull that comes with it. Many women have been exhausted by this cycle, investing their time and energy into men who never commit and then they walk away with fresh trust wounds. This is what has repelled straight women from the concept of dating entirely. The Vogue article mentions a term heterofatalism, a word defining a belief that heterosexual relationships are doomed to fail, which stems from frustration with heterosexual dating dynamics. Women are no longer looking to men as their primary source of purpose; instead, they have started to invest more into their friendships, futures, and passions.
Having a boyfriend was previously seen as a status symbol, a sign that a woman can keep her man and keep him happy. Successful relationships today run by a different prompt. Your boyfriend should be your best friend and your biggest supporter, not someone that a woman has to worry about being embarrassed and disrespected by. Women still want love, connection, and the joy of being in a relationship. However, the modern woman wants more from a relationship. Â
Being in love is a privilege, as is being in a relationship. Women want the liberty of being in full control of their lives while also experiencing love. Women want to feel supported, respected, and cherished by their boyfriends. A good relationship will bring you closer to your goals, help you feel more confident about yourself, and create more happiness in your life. Nevertheless, a woman’s success is entirely her own, regardless of her relationship status. As a society, we’re finally moving away from the script that says a woman must be in a relationship to lead a fulfilling life. Having a boyfriend isn’t what’s embarrassing, letting him erase the woman you were before is what is truly embarrassing.