The bond between a mother and a daughter starts from conception. As embryos, we hear our mother’s voices, listen to their heartbeats, and get a taste of their nutrition and stresses. As much as we are physically created by our parents, our emotions, mental states, and behaviors are also directly inherited from them.
Specifically, the bond between the eldest daughter and her mother is indeed a special one. It’s an experience of two females having so many firsts with each other. For the mother, it’s learning how to balance motherhood, her duties, and societal pressures while still maintaining her well-being and still loving her first child, her daughter; a beautiful thing to be able to experience. I have been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of this love.
In my 19 years of living, I have never been able to experience a love or relationship remotely close to how complex that of a mother’s is. The capacity to be a mother, to be able to hold life, to be able to nurture in a way that none of us can even begin to fathom is truly a gift. Our mothers are the first way we are shown love, and through their love, we learn to love others and, more importantly, ourselves.
Thinking of my own mother, she moved to America barely two years before she had me. For her, it was balancing living in a new country, navigating married life, while also taking care of her firstborn child.
Imagine coming home from a long day at work just to have to take care of a child again, cook for the whole family, feed the child, clean up after the child, put her to sleep, and then have time for herself.
How immensely stressful, or maybe even comforting was it to be going through so many different things while being newly married, in a new country, with a new job, and turning around to see a little girl staring at her, watching her every move, not necessarily there for her in a sense, but just there. Did it make her want to do better just for that little girl? Did that little girl act as a stressor in her life or promote a sense of consistency in a tumultuous time, a sense of love?
They’re our mothers, we automatically expect them to care for us. Motherhood is a job, perhaps the most important one of all. Our mothers deserve gratitude and appreciation, not only on important days, but more importantly, every day. A small “thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I love you” can go a long way. The sacrifices mothers make for their children are overlooked in society. Mothers both physically and mentally give so much of their energy, time, and care to their children.
It’s our mother’s first time living life, too, so let’s be easier on them.