Let’s talk about LDR’s (long distance relationships) …
Whether you’re a couple hours away from each other by car or an entire plane ride separates you both, sustaining a healthy LDR can bring unique challenges to the relationship game. As someone in and out of an LDR myself, with college distance in the middle, these tips are a few running themes I’ve noticed in my own relationship that have (really) helped. Although these tips might work for me, it’s important to note that every relationship is different; but, hopefully, these can inspire you.
- Flexible Communication
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When approaching an LDR it’s important to establish and connect on the amount of communication you both want to consider, whether that may be daily, weekly, or anything else. Discussing how often you want to communicate will help both partners feel satisfied with the level of attention focused on the relationship. This can help to ensure that both partners are on the same page and neither one is feeling neglected or overwhelmed.
But it doesn’t end here! This should be a dynamic conversation that may change from month-to-month, weekly, or even daily. Our personal lives might require more or less attention so remember to check in and see if anything is coming up in your life that will change the current dynamics. No matter what the specifics are, maintaining flexible communication standards can help adjust one another’s expectations accordingly and avoid hurting the other.
- Spending Time Together
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Even though it may be rare to see your partner physically in an LDR, there are still tons of creative ways to “hang out” together. One of my favorite ways to spend time with my partner are FaceTime dates. These dates can be completely spiced up or made simple by just getting the same kind of take out and eating together. If you’re like me and you spend a lot of time walking from place to place, this time can be adapted to spend with your partner. Going on “walks” together can become easy ways to connect.
There are plenty of creative outlets to hang out together like Netflix watch parties, FaceTime study dates, and more. But there are also tons of *non-technological* ways to be with your partner too. From writing romantic love letters to constructing cute care packages, never underestimate the power of gift giving. These gifts are small sentiments that allow you both to remember the other whenever you look at that item. Spending time together is one of the best ways to connect with your partner regardless of the distance.
- Honesty. Honesty. Honesty.
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Being honest in an LDR is probably the most important act in order to have a healthy relationship. Be honest about how you’re feeling, what you need from your partner (or don’t need!), and what has to change. In an LDR, it’s way more difficult to notice nonverbal cues or even changes in tone. With that in mind, it’s everything to be clear- there’s simply no room for passive-aggressive comments and ignoring the other. These cues are so much more complicated to pick up with distance in between you both, and in the end, the relationship really hurts because of this.
- Balance your LDR and Personal Life
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The tricky balance between your LDR and individual life can often be overlooked and ultimately lead to a lot of resentment and incompatibility. Because you’re not in-person it can be difficult to notice how much time and effort is going into the relationship and not yourself. With this, make sure to prioritize your needs and life too. Actually, a positive aspect of this type of relationship is that it allows for a lot of independence, so don’t forget to take advantage of that!
Even though long-distance relationships can be complicated, they can also be really romantic too. In the end, it all leads to being with someone you love and that’s all that matters.