Dear Ex,
It has been quite some time since we’ve spoken or seen each other. And for some weird reason, I find myself feeling very nostalgic about our history with each other. You were my first love, my best friend, and the one person I knew I could depend on no matter what. I still catch myself smiling when I think back to every great memory we had, and my heart still aches when I think of the bad memories. But nevertheless, what we had was wild; a journey I would not take back for the world.
I thought I did a lot of growing up with you by my side. I was happy every day with you. There were many good days, but also just as many bad days. I was so optimistic that things would work themselves out in the end. When the break up happened, I blamed myself for a while. But looking back, I realized our relationship had many flaws that we just couldn’t bring ourselves to fix. Sure, the break up still stings now and then, but to be honest, I did the most growing without you by my side. And I’m still happy every day without you.
That being said, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about you and wonder how you’re doing. I secretly hope that you’ll text me out of the blue one day to just catch up and get coffee. Sometimes, I’ll ask our old friends how you’re doing, just so that I know you’re doing okay. And when your social media posts show up on my news feed, I can’t help it but click on your name and look through old and new posts of your life, reminiscing on the past, and catching up on what I’m missing not being by your side. Seeing you happy and seeing your accomplishments make me happy too, is that so hard to believe?
Sometimes I wonder if there was ever a day where I hated you. Honestly, there never was, and probably never will be. While I may not be in love with you anymore, I know in my heart that there’s still space inside that brokenness that is still yours, and it’ll always be yours. I know now that you and I both needed to break apart, all because it changed us in ways we could never imagine. Although we aren’t in each other’s lives anymore, I am grateful to have had shared a small piece of time with you. You made me the person I am today with every positive and negative thing that happened in our relationship. It was all because of you that I was able to pick myself up and become the person I am today.
So here is to every moment we ever shared: the long car rides, the walks in the woods, and kissing in the rain. The times we laughed till we cried, and the tears we shed over sadness. Here’s to “us against the world” and the times we made each other better. Most importantly, here’s to you breaking my heart into a million pieces. Every moment was necessary to bring us to where we are today.
Wishing you nothing but the best.
Love,
Your Ex