As a current freshman at UConn, one of the biggest things I was extremely nervous about going into college was making new friends. I was scared that I would not find “my people” and was pressured by the idea that college is the year you find your future bridesmaids and lifelong friends. On top of this, I was conflicted. I am lucky enough to have amazing friends from my hometown and high school life, and I felt bad finding new friends, almost as if I was replacing the old ones that meant so much to me. After a few months here at college, I have compiled some advice that has helped me maintain my friendships with the new and old people in my life. If you are looking for ways to resolve these internal issues and many more like them, you’re in the right place.
Establish a routine with your hometown friends
Before you go to college or as you begin, talk to your hometown friends about how much or little you want to keep in contact during college. It is important to keep in mind that college is a new experience for all, and some people need constant support from friends, while others want to navigate alone. Try to form a compromise between the needs of the people in the group, and make an effort to stick to it. Whether it is a good morning text every day or a FaceTime call once a week, figure out what works best for both parties and fulfill your needs. Some friends might even be able to visit for a weekend or two, and that can help with your and their transition to college. Take advantage of the opportunities and times that work for both of you, and figure out what quality time looks like now that you may not be in the same place. At the same time, do not beat yourself up if you or your friends forget to text or call occasionally. Everyone is on a new, differing schedule, and it takes time to adjust to that.
making new friends in college
Your first couple months of college — and really college in general — is prime time to meet new friends and build new relationships. This can be a very hard thing to do sometimes, but building friendships is an awesome way to make college feel like home. Talking to the people on your floor, suite, or building a relationship with your roommate is a great way to start a friendship. You can start with casual small talk about classes, the weather, or events going on at your university, and eventually build up to an activity like getting dinner together or doing an on-campus activity with them.
Joining clubs and activities help as well with meeting new people. Since you are participating in something you are both interested in, there is already a common ground to build a conversation. Talking to people in your classes is another awesome way to meet someone new. You have a commonality in the class you take and can talk about homework or study for an exam together. Through all these small interactions, you will build new relationships that will make your college experience awesome. Try your best not to compare these relationships to ones you have had in the past as every new person is exactly that: a new individual. Remember that relationships come with time, so try to be as patient as possible and your people will come to you.
Try to Stay on Campus as much as possible
I know. I know. When you are missing your friends and the normalcy of home, it is super tempting to go home on the weekends if you have the opportunity to do so. But, if possible, try staying on campus to spend more time with your new friends. My mom has a saying: every weekend is a new opportunity. With every new weekend here at UConn, I’ve had more bonding time with my friends and have learned more about them. It has made my transition 10x easier, and I would’ve missed out on many brunches, parties, and movie nights if I went home. So try your best to stay on campus — you never know what new activity may occur over the weekend.
Take Advantage of breaks!
College is great because of the versatile schedule and opportunity for the occasional three-day weekend, fall break, Thanksgiving recess, and long winter break in between the fall and spring semesters. Take this time to relax and spend time with your friends from your hometown! Recap your current lives and past memories and just enjoy the time you have together as much as possible. Don’t be afraid to do some of your favorite old activities with your friends — no matter how simple they may seem. I know I will be partaking in my fair share of sing-a-long drives, trips to TJ Maxx, and hanging out in my best friend’s basement this Thanksgiving break. Don’t be afraid to fall back on the things and people who previously made you happy. Bask in it!
Being mindful and Patient will go a long way
It’s said hundreds of times, but I will say it again: college is an extremely hard transition in so many different ways. You may be feeling a hundred different emotions, especially about friendships. Maybe you are missing your old friends, lacking solid relationships, or feel like you don’t fit in. On the flip side, you could be maintaining great connections with old friends and have no problem with the friendships you’ve built at your school. Or maybe you are somewhere in between. No matter where you are, remember, your feelings are valid and you are not alone. Good relationships in college come with time, and things are constantly changing, so the opportunity for these are always arising. Along with this, be prepared for your friends from home to change too. Everyone is on their own journey, and they may come back home different than how you remember them, or old friendships may begin to drift. Try your best to accept these changes. Remember that they are a part of life, and you will get through them. I wish you all the best of luck in managing your own friendships: whether they are right across the hall or across the country.
