One day I was scrolling through old messages and the next they were plastered all over the internet. I never expected anyone to even see these shirts, let alone have Buzzfeed contact me to feature me in an article.
If you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, for Halloween one of my best friends, Jessica Zharnest, and I decided to dress up as fuckboys with, yes, snapbacks included. Jess and I texted some friends and we all dug through old and new text messages and Tinder messages to perfectly capture fuckboys in their natural habitat.
We went out, got hugs and high fives from fellow anti-fuckboys, and that was it…. well maybe not. Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know the answer, but we went viral. Classmates from high school who go to school all around the country were tagging me in posts and messaging me on Facebook. NowThis created a video that exceeded 18 Million views! That’s amazing right? Well sorta.
The first article came out on October 30th and from then on Jess and I were continuously being contacted by various media outlets. Barstool decided to write a feature on us, and let’s just say it was really hard not to cry while reading that. Everyone kept telling me “Don’t read the comments, they’re just people sitting behind a computer screen who know nothing about you.” That couldn’t be more true. They knew NOTHING about me, yet they called me things like a “slut” or told me I shouldn’t be giving my number out to these types of guys. The funny thing is, that’s exactly what makes a fuckboy; someone who lures you in thinking they’re a good guy and all of a sudden shows his real motives. There’s no way to tell who a fuckboy is until you get the chance to talk to him. You have no idea how hard it is to read nasty things being said about you and your best friend and not respond. There’s no point in arguing with these ‘men’ because they are exactly the type of guys who send those messages. I had to take it all and not say anything.
You know when celebrities say, “They twisted my words!” or “That’s not the full story!” Well, now I know exactly what they mean. It was so frustrating to read article after article misconstruing the words I said to make it sound more interesting. I tried to tell myself, It’s okay Lex, you know the real story, but when people are already judging you, it’s hard to believe yourself.
We were by no means “playing the victim.” I think a lot of people misunderstood the point of the costume. We just wanted to bring light to a problem with our generation. A lot of guys feel entitled to women and that’s just not okay. The messages on our shirts were real and that’s what is so concerning. It’s incredible because so many young girls – as young as 7th grade – told me how they’ve received similar messages!
Not only were people on the Internet being rude, but on campus they were as well. Walking around campus I got several glares and heard countless whispers. Yes, I have ears, and yes that was me.
But keep in mind, this was by far one of the coolest, most amazing things to happen to me, and I don’t want you to think I’m unappreciative. It brought Jess and I so much closer and now we’ll always have this bond and memory. I got to talk to Buzzfeed on the phone! I made it on Barstool (not sure if that one’s an accomplishment), Comedy Central UK wrote an article about it, a news source in Sydney, Australia wrote about it, too! This just doesn’t happen. Women from around the world were messaging us telling us how incredible they thought it was. George Takei even posted about us. Who’s next? @Ellen I’m talking to you!
But in all seriousness, thank you to any woman out there who stood up for us or shared our story. And to any ladies who have received messages like those on our shirts, I’m sorry. Just know you’re fun, fierce, and fabulous, and don’t settle for anyone who talks to you like that! You’re better than that.
All of this has been a great learning experience. I know I speak for myself and Jess when I say that all of these comments and the shirts themselves have really opened our eyes. We know how we deserve to be treated. We know we are worth more than a boy’s attention and crude comments. I learned that it’s okay to stand up for myself and not let boys walk all over me. This was a truly liberating experience.
Lastly, shout out to all the good guys out there! Y’all are the best, so keep doing you and thank you.
xoxo Lexi