As someone who grew up in a small town, I had one non-negotiable when it came to choosing a college: it had to be far away from home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hometown and I loved spending my childhood there, but I knew my experiences were limited. I had known the same people since I was eight, gone to the same cafe every day after school for four years, and stayed in the same sports and clubs my whole life. I loved to stick to what I knew, and that started to scare me.
When I ultimately decided to go out of state, I had no idea what my college experience was going to look like. After surviving my first semester, I’ve reflected on that choice a lot. I’ve made a list of the most important lessons I’ve learned since moving away for college, and I am so proud to share them with you!
1. It’s okay to start over
Before college, I hadn’t experienced any major life changes. The same people I graduated high school with, I also graduated elementary school with, and they saw me go through every cringy, embarrassing phase along the way. There was something sweet about being known so well, but it was also suffocating. By senior year, I had no room to grow or change, and I lived in fear of being judged. I was never someone who wanted to completely reinvent myself in college, but I did want the chance to have a fresh start where I could really figure out who I am.
Since my first day on campus, I have been able to do that. The friendships I’ve made since arriving have been the foundation for my growth. I think having friends you can rely on no matter what is so underrated. I’ve never felt like I could be my true, authentic self around any of my friends as much as I do with the ones I’ve made at the University of Connecticut. They build me up and support me in everything I do, which has made me so much more confident in my goals and interests.
2. It’s okay to miss home
I’ve always been a stubborn person, and for me, admitting I missed home felt like I was accepting defeat. I was sure I was going to have so much fun my first semester that I wouldn’t have time to miss anything, but the truth is, I missed everything almost instantly. Being far from my family was a lot harder than I expected, and having all different scenery and a new routine made me feel out of place.
This strengthened my relationship with my family and hometown friends in ways I didn’t expect. I’ve never really been someone to confide in others when I’m stressed, but having them to lean on helped me feel so much better about the transition. We’ve started to cherish the time we spend together a lot more now that it’s so limited, too. Even if I’m just driving around to old spots with my friends or playing card games with my family, I’ve realized I am so lucky to have so many people to come back to and miss so much while I’m away.
I’ve started to appreciate the small-town charm, too. It’s a lot easier to romanticize your hometown when you only spend a few months there, and it almost feels like no time has passed when I visit. I know how to get everywhere without a GPS, I can always count on my favorite coffee shop to get my order right, I’ll always run into my friends at our local gym, and my family and I will always have dinner together at the end of the day. When I spend so much time away, I really look forward to going back to that familiar and relaxing feeling.
3. It’s Okay to be scared
I think the best advice I’ve ever taken is if you can’t fight the fear, do it afraid. No matter what that fear is for me, whether it’s something as big as moving away from home, or as small as making a new friend, I have never regretted putting myself out there, no matter how scared I am. It hasn’t been easy, but when I make myself try new, scary things, I feel so much more confident the next time I have a goal.
Transitioning from high school to college is terrifying for almost everyone, but I would say it was also the most rewarding and exciting time of my life. If I let my fear stop me from coming to UConn, I wouldn’t have met my best friends who I spend every day with. I wouldn’t have learned to appreciate all the little things about where I grew up. I wouldn’t have had so many new experiences, joined so many new clubs, and learned so many new things in my classes.
If you’re someone who’s moved far away from home for college, or even if you’re close by and struggling to adjust, know you’re not alone! I hope the experiences I’ve shared spark some thought in your own journey and how far you’ve come!