When I first arrived at college, I felt pressured to partake in the typical “college experience” everyone talked about — endless nights at frat parties, bar hopping, “darties” (day parties), and the loud music, crowded spaces, and alcohol that came with it. I started to feel like something was wrong with me. I thought if I didn’t go out every day or every weekend, I would have missed out on an essential part of the college experience. Everyone around me talked about their going-out plans, their multiple-day “bender” coming up, and having to “rally. ” It seemed like I was the only one who didn’t feel excited about it. Why didn’t I enjoy it like everyone else? Was I isolating myself?
Social media and the opinions of others can easily convince you that you’re missing out if you’re not living that lifestyle. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others posting their weekends on social media and sharing stories of their times out. But social media is not reality. It’s easy to forget that people are going through struggles and doubts behind social media’s highlight reel.
You’ll never regret doing or not doing something if it’s what you want at that moment. Once I stopped pressuring myself to go out just to fit in and went out only when I truly wanted to or not at all, I realized you don’t have to “go out” to have a college experience. Some of my best memories in college aren’t when I was out on a weekend. Whether it was a movie night, dining hall conversations, exercise classes, getting involved in activities hosted on campus, sporting events, joining clubs, etc., I’ve found that my college experience has been richer when I’ve focused on what makes me happy and not what I feel like I “should” be doing.
Knowing yourself well enough is important to realize what you want to do and make peace with your choices. True friends will understand and respect your choices, and you’ll be able to enjoy your time with them in other ways. And if not, they aren’t the right people for you. You’ll find people who align with your values and enjoy the same things you do whether they go out or not. It’s about quality, not quantity.
The “college experience” isn’t defined by parties or “going out.” It’s about finding yourself and what makes you feel fulfilled. So, if you prefer to stay in or do other activities, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’ll regret it, miss out, or pressure you. Know yourself and what you want and love. Your college years are what you make of them.