In recent years, the term “girl’s girl” has circulated throughout Tik Tok. Many times it was brought up in negative atmospheres, deeming that certain people or characters did not deserve this title. Others pride themselves or coin individuals with this newfound, trendy characteristic.
But what does this mean? Is it just being supportive of your friends? Does it condemn being male-centered? If the latter is the case, is the term used as a way to come together as women or shame others?
The term girl’s girl is inherently positive, something one aims to be. When this phrase first emerged to the social media world, we all questioned our own behavior as a female friend, hoping to define ourselves with this title.
As with all new vocabulary, there’s always curiosity on what it’s conditions are. When people deem others a girl’s girl or not due to unprecedented situations, the goalpost shifts on it’s definition.
When scrolling on Tik Tok, pleasantries such as compliments, girls helping girls (especially strangers) and smiling at others are all defined as girl’s girl traits.
Researching the meaning behind being a girl’s girl offers a clear definition that calls back to it’s original popularity. Values like authenticity, a strong female friend/supporter, non-competitiveness, (opposite traits like disparaging a female friend for male attention) and uplifting friends with sound and supportive advice.
Other traits are familiar of expectations in the age-old phrase, “girl-code.” Many of these rules are unspoken, such as not involving oneself with a friend’s ex, standing up for a friend when someone is slandering them, or simply keeping a friend’s secret.
These two phrases definitely go hand-in-hand, one is a set of rules and the other is general behavior. The factor that made girl’s girl such a hot and easily-spewed phrase is it’s subjectiveness, how far should one’s loyalty go to avoid not being a girl’s girl?
How far should the demands of loyalty go? Does being a girl’s girl obligate us to grant our loyalty to others that don’t reciprocate?
Often times, TikTok fosters a bandwagon-esque trend of support or hate towards certain creators or public figures, especially women. Not to discount instances of certain creators, whose actions should be brought to the attention of the public, but others might not deserve these strict classifications. The designated opposite being a “pick-me girl,” describing a male-centered woman, often times tearing down their friends for the attention of a crush.
Pick me girl was more popular from 2016-2020, so it’s understandable why a new term would take over, now instead people say that someone isn’t a girl’s girl. This shift might be more turbulent as a pick-me’s negative characteristics were easily agreed upon, whereas now we have more of a debate over who’s deserving of this term.
The issue is not being a girl’s girl or it’s characteristics, it’s the immediacy with which people will title others with these names. As we become more focused on who is a girl’s girl and who isn’t, we lose the true meaning and value of the term.
This is true for many other words, jokes and “theories” popularized and sensationalized by creators and commenters. But in this case, users come to tear down individuals for not meeting a certain expectation they themselves can’t even define anymore.
The saturation of this phrase orchestrates a standard of superiority that people attempt to prove to their audience, making the actions that were the original purpose of this term artificial.
Sometimes new vocabulary like this motivates us to be better people or friends, but sometimes it’s just a way to point fingers. The title shouldn’t be discredited as a negative trend, the morals of a girls girl are wholesome and supportive of positivity between women and female friends.
As long as we know the correct usage of the word and when it’s fair to use, we can take this term as encouragement for individuals who demonstrate compassion and kindness in female friendships.
The good-natured, woman-centered purpose for this title entered social media hoping to spread positivity amongst young women, but, as all trends do, adopted negative connotations. The only way to embrace being a girl’s girl is to de-center the male emphasis on it’s conditions, to reorient the supportive female friend aspect that encourages others to truly be a girl’s girl.