Is it just me, or have everyone’s parents referred to their college years as the best time of their lives? They describe it as the peak of their youth and yearn for a chance to relive those days. Now of course, after hearing this for most of my life, I was super excited for college. How could I not be? I was about to enter the golden days and love every minute of them. However, for me, that was not the case. I had such high expectations for my first semester that it ended up being completely different. Here are 5 expectations I had before starting college and what I learned from them.
Everyone I met would be my friend
In those first few weeks of starting college, endless possibilities are waiting for you. You find yourself meeting new people everywhere: your dorm building, your classes, sports games, anywhere you can think of. During those weeks, I saw anyone I talked to as a potential friend, and I just waited until we would organically happen to hang out one day… but that day never came. After a while, everyone seemed to have found their groups, and those class friends I made were just that: friends from class. I felt so behind, suddenly everyone had friends but me. It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t the only one going through this and that I had to get out of that mindset to be open to meeting new people. I learned to not force friendships. If I wanted to hang out with someone then I should reach out, and if they wanted to hang out with me, then they would. For me, it’s way more valuable to be surrounded by fewer people you trust and genuinely like than to seek a larger friend group just for the sake of having one. Eventually, I found my people. It just took a bit longer.
I would do well in classes without much effort
It’s easy to buy into the idea that college is mostly fun and parties and doing whatever you want. But that couldn’t be farther away from the truth. We are so used to the glamorized version of college that we forget that the purpose of being here is to get an education. I would get so stressed out when I spent 3 hours studying for a class without going out. I was so burnt out because I was used to the high school mentality of classes and left everything ’till the last minute. Of course, I’m not an expert at this, I still procrastinate and struggle to prioritize, but I like to think I’m getting better at it. I learned that balance is key. If I want to go out on weekends, then I’ll make sure all my work for the week is done.
I would figure my future out immediately
Coming into college, I was a bit unsure as to what I wanted to do with my future. I knew I wanted to major in English and minor in Business, and I trusted that once I started taking my classes, I would know exactly what I wanted to do. I could not have been more wrong. About halfway through my first semester, I realized that Business was not for me. I hated the classes I was taking and could never see myself going into it in the future. I decided to try out Communication, and I ended up declaring it as my second major. Although I’m still figuring out what I want within these fields, I know I’m on the right track, and I just need to keep taking different classes to narrow down what I want to do.
I would lose all my high school friendships
There is a common understanding that once you go to college you’ll automatically lose contact with your high school friends. Because you’re not in the same place anymore, you might lose things in common or just stop reaching out. This does not have to be the case. Obviously, you won’t be talking to your high school friends every day, but setting aside time for FaceTime calls or texting them once in a while isn’t hard. As long as you put in the effort to reach out, your friendship will be fine.
I’d have someone to take care of me
Something that is not talked about much in college is the fact that you’re fully by yourself for the first time. You have to take care of your health: mental and physical. I remember the first time I got sick in college; it felt like the end of the world. All I wanted to do was go back home and have my parents take care of me. That’s when it hit me, that for these 4 years, I wouldn’t have my parents right by my side. I had to become my main caregiver and look out for myself. This meant taking care of myself physically and most importantly mentally. It’s so easy to get in your head when you’re in a new environment and feel alone, but you have to keep yourself in check and remember to put yourself first.
…
Looking back, I can see how much my unrealistic expectations of college affected my first semester. However, it was necessary to learn all these things to be where I am now. Currently, I feel comfortable with where I am in college. I have good friends, I’m narrowing down what I want for my future, and I have found a balance between fun and work. Obviously, I’m only in my second semester, so I still have a lot to learn. But now, instead of having these unrealistic expectations hinder me, I have the lessons I’ve learned to help me.