They say there is nothing like these four years in college, and it is very true. Coming to the University of Connecticut, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to get out of this experience, but I knew I wanted to see who I would be outside of the bubble of my hometown.
Friendship: pockets full of sunshine or despair
In my freshman year, my roommate and I clicked well, and so did most of the girls on our side of the floor. We would travel together in our septet of suburban bliss to the dining hall, parties, and study sessions, but like any orientation friendship group, we dissolved. I had already experienced loss prior to starting school, and it took a toll on my health that they weren’t equipped to help with, which wasn’t expected of them. No one tells you about the part of college where you listen to your old friends’ giggles through the paper-thin dorm walls. Second semester, I had to start over, and that meant doing everything that I was too busy to get to in the first part of the year. I walked around campus, explored every inch of the student union, and went to a lot of club meetings and shows. Was it scary to walk into a dark union ballroom from a WISO fashion show, yes? Did I have fun? Eventually, once I got over the fact that no one cares that I am sitting alone. Anyway, through these side quests, I connected Instagram profiles to real people and made friends again. Her Campus (HC), Women in Sport (WiS), and being a manager have given me some of my closest friends, ones that I can call to go out, or stay in, or even come with me to search for part of my car that fell off. The times we’ve had in college I’ll treasure, but I can’t wait to see New Jersey, the University of North Carolina, Chicago, or Long Island with them.
The hardest part of college is losing deep connections with people back home. As someone who took so much pride in those friendships and was devastated to lose them, you do have to accept that some people are in your life for a season. It doesn’t make it hurt less in the moment, but it helps the wound heal more easily. I committed to UConn with three friends from my hometown, except for one; I can count on one hand how many times I have hung out with the others. It is something that is sad to think about, but it doesn’t invalidate the other years of friendship. B and I have lived 15 minutes away from each other almost our whole lives, but those minutes here felt like a galaxy away. Just like seasons change, they come back around, but not one winter is the same as the last. Growing apart doesn’t have to be a loss; it can be an adventure that you can share later on down the road.
Cooking up a career: not everything needs to be on high
Coming into UConn, I had only a slight idea of what I wanted to do in life. I did not have a positive outlook on life, so the concept of being eighteen and in college was already a lot to deal with. My potential majors were sport management and social work, but once I realized I probably could not handle my emotions plus someone else’s, sport management became my number one. Now, I had to get to work on building a resume that demonstrated my commitment to the program. I became a manager. Being a manager has been one of the most rewarding experiences for my career development, but it took work for me to see that. I constantly doubted myself, I felt like I was behind because I hadn’t spent my summer running a youth basketball camp, or didn’t have an internship in a pro team’s front office. I trusted the process and poured so many hours and effort to ensure I could be the best manager I could be, even if I looked desperate as hell asking to come in.
I am lucky that I had an amazing advisor who constantly talked me off the ledge and reassured me about my efforts. For everyone, gaining experience looks different. Once I knew I wanted to stay in sports, I joined Women in Sport to connect with other students interested in or working in athletics here at UConn. This is one thing I would absolutely recommend to anyone with time left in their college experience. Join a club; you do not need a thousand different ones, but pick two that interest you and will stick to them. Mondays at WiS or Wednesdays at HC were my escape from homework, a standing date for me to giggle and yap with my mates. Having hobbies outside of your classes and your major not only makes you a well-rounded candidate but also a well-rounded person.
I am lucky to have spent the past four years in cow town, every up and down, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Thank you, UConn, I’ll always remember you.