This is actually my third time trying to write this article. Usually, when I pick a topic, the words come freely, but that has not been the case this time. Recent events in my day-to-day spurred me to discuss the many changes students will face during their time in college. When I think back on the three years I have been working towards my college degree, I realize how much has happened and how different my life is from when I started. There has been so much change, and it can be quite overwhelming to think about it all, let alone summarize my thoughts in just a short article. Anyways, here is my attempt at capturing a piece of it…
I can admit that I don’t like change in general. Stability and continuity are what I constantly crave, and when my world gets tilted slightly, I panic. What I have realized in recent times, however, is that change is not always a bad thing. Previously, I believed that change was to be feared and resented. As I grow older and look back on changes in my life, I now understand that some of them were for the best. It would be naïve of me to think that everything should always remain how it is. What fun would life be if it was that way? Throw a global pandemic into the mix, and predictability is impossible, especially for most college students.
In the last 12 months, I have: moved away from home for the first time; started studying at a new university in a different country; changed family home; changed my living situation at UConn; left my long-time job; made lots of new friends; traveled to five new cities but most importantly, I changed. In high school, I would often complain that those around me were changing. I couldn’t understand why some people were becoming someone new almost overnight. I told myself that while they were changing, I was maturing. I disagree with that perspective now. They were also maturing, just differently from how I was. I get that now because I’ve changed a lot in the last year, and I’m happier because of it. The person I was this time last year was shy and introverted. She didn’t like going out, putting herself out there, or trying something new. She was more often than not sad, borderline depressed, and in dire need of something to spark her. For the first time in my life, I appreciate the lack of consistency. Without all this change, I wouldn’t have grown when I so desperately needed to.
Recently, I have been overwhelmed by life and all its moving parts. As my time on exchange at UConn is coming to a close, I have to come to terms with the fact that a lot of the people who were a staple in my day-to-day in the last few months will no longer be. The life I have built here will break down as quickly as it was created. That scares the sh*t out of me. That being said, change should be embraced, not run away from. Is the next season of my life the scariest yet? Probably. I will have to return home to Ireland and move back in with my parents. I will return to a college I have not attended in-person since February of 2020. I will be separated from many people who have become so important to me. I will leave a place that has unexpectedly felt like home.
Change should be embraced, not run away from
The last year has changed my life. It made me a better person. For that, I’m forever grateful. However, all good things must end, and a new chapter must commence. The unknown is terrifying, but if I’ve learned anything throughout my time as a college student, change is not always a negative thing. Yeah, it’s hard to see people come and go from your life, but that’s what college is. A time to find yourself and your people, experiment, push yourself out of your comfort zone… The losses you may feel now will be a distant memory in the future, and the most important events and people will remain long after you graduate.
Finally, I leave you with a little playlist I made. I often turn to music in times of stress and emotional overload. These are just a few songs that I have found myself relating to throughout the chaos that is attending college under continuously changing circumstances.