Happy Cuffing Season, collegiettes. For those of you who aren’t sure exactly what Cuffing Season is, allow me to inform you. It’s the time of year where the leaves change, the air gets colder, and people become increasingly lonelier. Everyone wants a “boo” and surely nobody wants to sleep alone. It could likely be compared to a partnered-up hibernation of sorts. If any of this sounds familiar, or if you’ve been noticing a great amount of PDA on campus lately, then this is probably why. Thankfully, my good friend Schmidt is here to share some thoughts, soften the blow, and reassure you that you certainly do not need no man, just in case you’re not being “drafted” this Cuffing Season.
You walk onto campus ready for a perfectly sub-par day, and you see a couple smooching right under the Johnathan statue.
You then begin walking around, on guard for anymore ridiculous PDA, when you realize it’s literally EVERYWHERE.
You start to think about your own love life…
Friday night rolls around and you decide that maybe it’s time to take action, so you gear up for any potential encounter with the opposite sex.
The cute guy you make eye-contact with at Huskies got you like:
He comes over to talk to you and in your head you’re already like:
You can’t even hear anything he’s saying because your inner monologue is running RAMPANT.
You were so busy talking to yourself, that you’ve scared him away.
You come back home, defeated, and when your roommate asks you how it went all you can say is:
Then you realize they had a fantastic night, with a BOY IN THE NEXT ROOM.
You decide to accept defeat, realizing that you are a fantastic human, regardless.
You end the evening in your favorite pair of pajamas and a glass of wine, which let’s face it, is what you wanted to be doing anyway.
Don’t get discouraged ladies, you rock no matter what. We’ll get ’em next season.