Dear Holly,
I am having an issue with my roommates; well I think it is more that they are having problems with each other. I went home for the weekend and when I came back neither one was talking to each other and they will not tell me what happened. The tension is so bad between the two of them that it is starting to bother me too. I am friends with both, and I want to help, but they said that they don’t want to save their friendship.
– Tension Tamer Needed
Hi Tension Tamer Needed,
That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to deal with, I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. I know they said that they don’t want to save their friendship, but I am sure they want to resolve the problem, no one wants to live with that tension.
First have you talked to your roommates about what caused the argument? If not, speak to them individually and talk to them to see if they can at least resolve the problem so that there isn’t any tension. Once you find out what is bothering them, you can work from there.
Try and find a time for the two of them to sit down and talk to each other, about the problem and their feelings. If you are comfortable, sit with them and act as a mediator. Make sure that they both talk about their feelings and that the conversation stays on topic.
Or you can go to the RA for help. Ask your RA for help with both the conversation, advice and any other issues that arise.
If for some reason they are unable to at least be civil with each other, try and spend more time outside of the room. If the tension in the room is negatively affecting you even when you are only in there to sleep, look into changing your room. If you still need to pick housing for next year, find other people to room with.
Good Luck!
Holly