Let me start by saying that being picky about someone you’re thinking about being in a relationship with is not a bad thing, especially in college where there are so many guys with questionable intentions. However, being choosy comes with its fair share of struggles.
Even if the hardships are pretty self-inflicted, I want to assure you that it’s ok to be particular about the people you date. It can be difficult to see the bright side and I know it’s easy to constantly feel letdown with having a hopeless love life. In the long run though, it’s actually a really good thing. Looking back, being picky has saved me from many questionable relationships, mistakes, and possible heartbreaks. Even though I can see the light from the other side, I can still get discouraged.
Being selective can get in the way sometimes. There’s a fine line between being a good level of being picky and just being unrealistic. Here’s my best advice to you: you don’t want to sacrifice your standards, but maybe it would be beneficial to loosen up a bit.
Some of the best advice I ever received was to give everyone at least one chance. You never know what will happen unless you genuinely get to know somebody. If someone is expressing interest in getting to know you in a kind and thoughtful way, they at least deserve that. However, if anyone is trying to gain your attention in a way that is anything other than courteous, it’s not your responsibility to respond. Respect is a two way street.
Don’t count someone completely out until you get to know them a little bit first. It takes a lot for someone to put themselves out there when they’re interested in someone. If you dismiss them based on first impressions, you could miss out on someone great just because they didn’t seem perfect the first time you met them.
Stop trying to plan everything. It’s natural to want to plan everything perfectly in your mind but life just doesn’t work that way. You need to let go and let live. It’s scary but you’ll feel so much better if you stop worrying about things you have absolutely no control over.
Don’t go out looking for the perfect guy because you most likely won’t find him. Are you perfect? No, no one is, and that’s what makes getting to know people so interesting. If you’re looking for a strong and lasting relationship, it’s about loving each other’s imperfections and not giving up on one another.
Lastly, stop stressing about it. You have the rest of your life to be with someone. A watched pot never boils. It’s cliché, but love will find you when you’re not looking for it. Just live your life, be yourself, and the right people will find you.