“Cool” by Daniel Caesar is an intimate, yet incredibly vulnerable song off his third studio album, Never Enough. Throughout the song, Caesar effectively captures how it feels to navigate emotional complexity within an interpersonal relationship. The use of soft, melancholic instrumentals accentuates Caesar’s raw vulnerability within the song, allowing his voice to emphasize the weight of yearning and insecurity. The emotional depth reinforces the song’s central theme — the tension between experiencing love and the desire to self-sabotage the relationship as a means of self-preservation. Simultaneously, this theme provides a glimpse into the familiar dynamic of a “situationship,” or a relationship that lacks clear commitment and is often filled with uncertainty and mixed emotions.
Within the opening verse, Caesar sings, “Try your best to keep composure / Don’t give up all of your smiles / Push away and they’ll come closer / Ain’t been touched in a while.” In this verse, Caesar expresses reluctance to give up his “smiles” to another, as it can be easy to display strong feelings towards someone when you’re into them. He attempts to prevent this by “keeping it together” as a form of emotional defense.
This refers to the beginning of a situationship. One individual may be highly interested in the other, but feels reluctant to overextend themselves, as coming off too strong can be a turn-off. Caesar continues with the phrase “push away and they’ll come closer” to highlight the paradoxical human behavior, where distance can make others more interested. This behavior places the individual in a vicious cycle of push and pull with their love interest until that person completely gives in or simply leaves, reinforcing the uncertainty of the situation.
Caesar continues this thought within the pre-chorus, singing, “Sometimes / I get too excited, stars behind my eyelids / Sometimes / I’m nodding in agreement, I don’t agree they see it”. Within the early stages of the situationship, it is easy to be entranced by the other individual and have the urge to be with them. These “stars” can symbolize the beginning of idealization and having expectations for what the relationship could turn into.
However, these emotions could be too overwhelming for the other, potentially causing them to push away from the relationship. Caesar also notes that he often catches himself agreeing with what the other individual loves, despite subconsciously disagreeing with them. He hopes that by agreeing with what they want, he can avoid conflict but also not be seen as someone that’s incompatible, but unfortunately, his love interest is aware of the ambiguity between his words and actions. This creates a subtle tension, as his desire for harmony may lead to emotional conflict that could push the relationship further away.
At this point, Caesar is reluctant about his actions and emotions, hoping they do not enhance the uncertainty of his situation, thus he sings “Play it cool / Do a favor just for you / Cool / Be colder just for you”. The chorus serves as a mantra for reinforcing the theme of emotional self-preservation. By not getting too emotionally involved, he can avoid the pain of rejection and even disappointment when his love interest is not meeting his expectations. However, this behavior is a form of self-sabotage; he is protecting himself from potential hurt, but in doing so, he is limiting his chances for a deeper connection. Similarly, individuals in a situationship may play it cool and act colder towards the other as a defense mechanism for creating emotional or physical distance, reinforcing the push-pull dynamic once again.
The second verse reiterates the theme of self-preservation by stating, “Try your best to calm me down / Don’t give them all of yourself / ‘Cause one day, they won’t be around / Can’t go to them for help.” Caesar warns against getting too emotionally involved, especially in scenarios where uncertainty reigns, such as situationships. He recognizes the transient nature of these relationships and suggests that setting emotional boundaries and being emotionally independent is more beneficial. Relying too heavily on others for support may result in a longer recovery when they leave, emphasizing how uncertainty in situationships makes emotional dependence unsustainable.
Overall, Caesar informs his audience about the importance of self-preservation when approaching a potential “situationship.” He warns the listeners that being too emotionally involved can lead to disappointment and emotional vulnerability. Hence, he advises creating emotional distance as a protective measure in situations marked by lack of commitment and uncertainty. Caesar’s final message acknowledges that while connection and intimacy are often sought after, it is crucial to cultivate emotional independence and boundaries in order to prevent self-sabotage. Thus, Caesar’s song “Cool” resonates with listeners, as it highlights a common struggle in navigating relationships today.