As my freshman year comes to a close, I think back to my first two semesters and all of the amazing things I’ve learned here at UConn. From managing class stress, finding organizations I enjoy, prioritizing friendships & relationships, and even something as simple as learning the bus routes, I finally feel like I have somewhat of a handle on this whole college thing. My experience has been unique to some, as I am an out-of-state student from New Jersey. When I decided to come to UConn around this time last year, I was so scared about going to a state three-and-a-half hours away from my home. This new anxiety was a feeling I had to figure out, and now that I have, I am here to share my knowledge with all of the future out-of-state UConn students! So if you are a future or even current out-of-state student, I hope this letter gives you some insight and advice on how to tackle the out-of-state experience.
Dear future out-of-state UConn student,
Hi! If you are reading this you have probably just accepted your offer of admission to UConn, are out-of-state, and looking for some advice. Congratulations! The transition from high school to college can be tough, so I’m here to give you three tips and tricks you’ll need to manage feelings you may encounter when you are away from your home state.
Homesickness is real.
People around you may tell you that you’ll feel “homesick” when you come to college. This is the feeling of missing, longing, or wanting your home because you miss the comfort it can bring to you. Let me be the first one to tell you that homesickness is 100% real and you will probably experience it. For me, this feeling came as soon as I entered college. I remember sleeping in my twin XL bed and showering in the dorm shower during the first night thinking about the unfamiliarity of it all. This was not my bed, not my shower. Where was my kitchen and living room that was just a walk down the stairs from my bedroom, or my backyard that overlooked the lake and my neighborhood? All of the normalcy of my small Jersey town was replaced with new academic college buildings that intimidated me when I first came to UConn. This feeling is real, and it is okay to feel it.
How to Manage it:
First and foremost, you have to give yourself time. It is very rare to adjust to a new place automatically no matter what it looks like on social media from those posting around you. Take a second and give yourself some grace to feel uncomfortable. All of this is new and will take some time to feel normal.
One of the small ways I combatted homesickness was by filling my side of my dorm room with things that reminded me of home. This included tons of pictures, old stuffed animals, jewelry, and anything that sparked a memory of my life before college. It made me feel like I was making my dorm a home away from home, and slowly, it began to feel that way.
What do you mean I can’t come home every weekend?
I live about three-and-a-half hours away from UConn, which means going home is reserved for holidays and breaks to see my parents and friends at home. Other than that, I am at UConn every weekend. At first, this sounded like a death sentence to me. In-state UConn students will go home from time to time since the drive is manageable, but I was not left with this option. How could I go all this time without being home? Although it seemed like a disadvantage at the beginning, I think this is a blessing in disguise.
How to Manage it:
I believe staying at college during the weekends is the best way to build bonds with people you meet, explore what campus has to offer, party, or do whatever you want! College is all about becoming your own person and finding out what you like to do. The weekend gives you free time to do just that, so take advantage of it! Staying in a new place long enough will get you out of your comfort zone just enough that you begin to do a magical thing: grow.
So. Many. New. People.
After being around the same small bubble of people in high school, I got used to the names and faces I had grown to know and love. I developed stable friendships with people that felt safe and secure. The familiarity of high school was soon gone when everyone I encountered at college was brand new. I was no longer surrounded by the same kids I’d known since middle school like many in-state students who know people from their town or school. Everyone was unpredictable with different stories and backgrounds. How was I supposed to get to know all these people?
How to Manage it:
Knowing virtually no one when you come to college gives you the ability to turn a fresh page, make a good first impression, and be whoever you want. If you want to get a leg up, reach out and start chatting with people on the UConn ’27 Instagram and Facebook. Being yourself is where those genuine friendships will come to you, so try your best to talk to a bunch of people those first couple weeks as well to see who fits your vibe. Getting involved in things you are interested in is a great way to meet like-minded people too. Some people say that the best friendships are ones you do not expect or see coming, so keep that in mind too. Again, give this time. Good friends and relationships are hard to find, but will come if you stay true to yourself.
It’s Going to be okay, I promise
I know firsthand what it is like to feel lost, confused, sad, or upset during your first year of college, especially as an out-of-state student. My friends and I always say that freshman year is the year of transition, or a time to figure out everything new. It is not going to be easy or fun at times, but it is going to be okay. Remember to give yourself grace, and time, and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. You will get used to things and will feel newfound independence being away from home and having to take care of yourself. It is one of the best feelings and one of the reasons I am so happy I went out of state and explored a college away from my hometown. I wish you all the best of luck with this new phase of life. Have a very merry first year.
With love, support, and happiness,
Bailey :)