Some of you may have seen the Barstool article where a brave man ventured into the realm of “What girls really want to know about guys” and answered their questions—from what one trusted male source confirms—quite honestly. So, I’ve decided to do a reverse-spinoff, gathering inquiries from several of my curious male friends and answering their questions—with the help of some of my Her Campus crew and a few trusted friends, as honestly as possible. Here are the most common questions that guys have about girls, and their realistic answers:
What’s it really like to be on your period?
A weeklong sense of general uncomfortable-ness, paranoia that everyone knows, cravings for chocolate/junk food/sex (oh the irony), cramps that can be so cripplingly painful (imagine all the organs in your lower abdomen rupture at once) the fetal position is a necessity (not an option), and being extremely moody (yes, we’re actually aware of our moodiness; we can’t always help it). Boom. It does vary from girl to girl, some can go the whole week feeling tip-top and unaffected.
Do girls masturbate as much as guys do?
Some girls do—there are probably a few who do even more than some guys—but some don’t at all or do it rarely. It honestly depends on the girl. Crucial factors include her relationship status and how long her “dry spell” has lasted. It might seem like we don’t as much simply because we’re more discreet about it.
Does the way a guy “spits game” actually attract you more to him?
Normal/casual flirting is cool, we like that. But “Game = lame.”Here’s the real breakdown: by the time you work up the nerve to “spit” (ew), we’ve already assessed the room, including you (assuming you haven’t been hiding), and have placed you on an imaginary scale of physical attractiveness; it’s just a natural, not-always-conscious, thing (if you think about it, you probably do it too). Don’t be discouraged, though: just approach us normally and introduce yourself/say “Hi”, start a conversation, and suddenly you’re one step ahead of every guy in the room.
Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?
The older we get, the less this actually happens, but there’s not really one specific answer. It could be that we’ve been taught that it’s unsafe to walk alone, or it could be that we didn’t realize we even had to pee until someone else mentioned it.
Why do girls wear so much/spend so much time and money on makeup?
Because we want to. Because we can. Because we like the way we look in it. Some girls love makeup, some girls see no need for it. Those who love it are probably willing to spend more money on higher-end stuff because it’s better quality. As for time, blame it on our inner-perfectionists; details are important. Also, if they’re being honest, girls will admit they wear makeup to impress other girls, not guys, because we know guys either don’t notice/don’t care. We still like to wear it simply because it’s fun.
What’s the big deal about Starbucks?
Note: Being female has no automatic connection to Starbucks. There’s no big deal, really. The drinks they have are good (for those who like it) and I guess the whole Instagramming-Your-Starbucks thing has been a trap that girls got sucked into but don’t really mind. Hell yeah my Caramel Frappucino is a blended-beverage Heaven on my tongue, I’m gonna share it with everyone I follow on social media.
Why are girls offended when we look at your chest or butt? It’s supposed to be a compliment.
We know some of you guys mean it that way, and that sometimes you can’t help but look. Doing it subtly is totally cool. If we wear shirts or shorts that show a little extra skin, we’re obviously trying to play up our assets. However, girls don’t like to be objectified or overly-sexualized, so if you’re taking our order at the Union Market but are staring at our chests instead of our eyes, yeah, we’re going to get offended. Be discreet.
Do girls sneakily check out guys’ junk too?
Of course. Not all the time, but we do, though it’s usually not the first thing we notice about you. It’s not really the same as the reverse because we can’t tell sizes or anything just by passing you on the street, but it happens every now and then. Same with butts—we notice when you’re toned up.
Do girls poop?
Of course not. But if we did, it would be perfectly human and normal.
How often do you talk badly about your friends?
There is a difference between simple gossip and talking badly, so let me speak on behalf of the majority of girls that we hope those we call our “friends” don’t speak badly of us. That being said, gossip is inevitable, and I’m sure some girls are quicker to verbally relay their latest annoyance than others. If assuming she is a true friend, I would say very rarely, if at all.
How do you feel about no-shave November?
You think you’re the only ones excited about not having to shave? This cuts our shower time like, in half.Also— if a guy can pull off the look, go for it, but creeper mustaches and neck beards are no bueno.
Do you really enjoy chick flicks?
Yes. We know you secretly love them too, but it’s okay. We like letting you play the tough guy who hates on them.
Do you ever call guys ‘sluts’?
Sometimes, yes; girls who don’t like to use profanity probably don’t. It seems to be that guys don’t take it as offensively as girls might, but that may not be true at all. But hey, no one should be calling anyone names. Don’t be mean.
Is every girl at least a little bisexual/bicurious?
Presumably a fair amount of heterosexual girls who have never experienced being with another girl are at least a little curious, just because they have no idea what it’s like. This doesn’t mean anyone’s going to go hook up with the next girl she sees. The idea of girls getting drunk and making out with each other may have become too much of a trend for attention and a lot less of genuine curiosity, so don’t let it cloud your judgment.
What’s the worst pickup line a guy could use?
Anything offensive or demeaning. Also, maybe throw out the pickup lines and just say hello or start a real conversation? It’ll save you a lot of time, we promise.
How often do girls watch porn?
There are certainly girls who enjoy it and watch it regularly, and then there are some who don’t even like to think about it. The key difference between girls and guys- generally- is that guys are more visual, and girls are more mental. We enjoy storylines, imagination, and the like (50 Shades makes a little more sense now, eh?), so watching poorly-acted videos might not be our cup of tea.
Lots of chest hair or no chest hair?
Depends on the girl’s personal preference.
How long does it take to put makeup on?
5-15 minutes on your average day, but it takes longer getting ready for a night out.
What do girls do in the bathroom?
Well, what you’re supposed to do in the bathroom. We may also play on our phones. If you’re referring to us going in groups, yeah we’ll talk or gossip a little.
How common are push-up bras and do you agree that they’re nothing but trickery and witchcraft?
Common? I mean, I’ll go ahead and assume practically every girl has owned at least one push-up bra. But note that there are different “levels” of push-ups: guys like to assume that a push-up bra automatically means something like a Victoria’s Secret Bombshell Bra, but those are highly unrealistic. Your average push-up is way less padded and is just supposed to pleasantly lift, not aggressively thrust.