10 Things We're NOT Looking Forward in Winter, as told by the Grinch

Ahhh, a New England winter.  Bring on the cute hats, sledding, and fuzzy socks.  Imagine snow falling lightly while Hallmark broadcasts its holiday classics.  You and your dog are cuddling in front of the fireplace.  The colorful Christmas tree is the only light in the room.  It's all very picturesque, don't you think?  We look forward to this part of winter All. Year. Long.  But what we don't seem to remember is how much we hate the other parts once it's here.  And while we all admittedly dream of a white Christmas, some winter qualities are more of a nightmare.

1. Gray slush

When the first snowfall comes, everything is so pristine and white that you barely want to make tracks.  You take artsy pictures and enjoy the scenery of your quiet neighborhood.  Then the plow comes.  Dirt, grease, sand, and snow all lump up in a corner and it just keeps getting uglier as the season goes on.  The gray slush lasts forever, too.  It's still lingering after the snow melts and well into spring in some cases.  Who wants to look at that?

2. Runny noses

The winter wind quite literally stings your nose.  And oh, it is painful.  No matter how high you wear your scarf, a girl's gotta breathe.  The cold forces your nose to run and there's no way to fix yourself without taking your hands off your hand warmers and out of your pocket.  And chapped noses?  The struggle.  Pass the Vaseline, please.  

3. Dry skin

The lotion industry will never crumble as long as there is winter.  The cold, dry air strips our delicate skin of moisture and we find ourselves lathering up before we head out the door every day.  Sand paper hands?  No, thank you.  And don't even get us started about dry lips.  Reapplying lip balm every 30 minutes gets annoying.  Plus, half the time you can't find your lip balm, so you grab a new one... and then find the old one.  

4. Black ice

If you have ever experienced the horror that is black ice, we feel for you.  Black ice is a transparent coating of ice on pavement.  It's also known as an invisible death trap just waiting to take you down.  Not only does slipping hurt your backside and your ego, but one sharp turn could just cost you your car.  That's some scary stuff.  

5. The darkness

It is dark literally all the time in the winter.  You wake up?  It's dark.  You come back from class?  It's dark.  And not in a scenic, sunset-over-the-snow kind of dark.  We mean nighttime dark.  One of the most overused but always necessary phrases heard during a New England winter is, "Wow, it's only 4 o'clock?"  The darkness seriously messes up your sense of time.  It's hard to wake up in the morning because it looks like it's 3:00am.  It could be dinnertime but you're ready for bed... and there's still seven hours left in the day.  How could Mother Nature do this to us?!

6. Cold sweat

Winter chills make you bundle up with layers upon layers.  Walking to class doesn't seem that bad, plus you look super fashionable.  Then you get inside the building and sit down.  All of a sudden, a wave of heat hits you, and you can't seem to get the layers off fast enough.  It's hot AF and you're breaking a sweat because of the sudden temperature change.  There is no happy medium deciding exactly how many layers of clothes to put on.  Yeah, it was nice and toasty, but right now you just want to sprawl out on the floor and cool down.  Ironic, am I right?

7. A "wintry mix" forecast

This basically means that before you head out the door, you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared to face the elements.  What's coming down from the sky could be anything.  There's hail, there's slush, and there's snow EVERYWHERE.  It's already extremely cold, and to make the situation even better, now you're also soaking wet because the snow has turned into sleet.  We're getting shivers just talking about it.   If you have never heard this term on your local weather station, consider yourself #blessed.  The rest of us will be feeling bad for ourselves.   

8. Cabin fever

Okay, the snow is nice and all, but now it's time to get some fresh air.  Or at least some social interaction.  Being stuck inside for days or weeks really puts a damper on the overall "winter experience."  You start itching to get out of the house and there's nothing you can do, especially if the plow hasn't come yet.  Sometimes, it's too cold to move, and that's okay occasionally, but every day?  This is getting ridiculous.

9. Being blinded by snow

Opening the door on a crisp winter morning to be surrounded by snow sounds like something out of a movie.  What they don't tell you?  The sunlight reflecting off the snow is painfully bright, and your reaction to the light is nothing short of a vampire's reaction.  Everything just becomes one blurry scene of white and it's hard to tell what's what before your eyes get used to it.  It makes you not want to leave home in the first place.   

10. Catchy holiday tunes

Who doesn't love a good Christmas carol or two?  They have the power to instantly put a smile on someone's face.  It's when you hear "Jingle Bells" 27 times in a day that really makes you cringe.  Holiday songs are stuck in your head for weeks after the season has passed.  And when you're still singing them months after the fact, you get judgy looks.  Once is enough, thanks.  

Wintertime is the most wonderful time of the year, so they say.  We love winter.  It includes arguably the best holidays of the year, cute and comfy fashion, and hot cocoa.  What we don't love is everything else.  And as it gets colder and colder, we are reminded that these not-so-magical things about winter are swiftly approaching.  

 

 

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