I love my name – don’t get me wrong. It’s cool and unique and I have yet to meet anybody else who shares it with me – BUT it is a definite and constant struggle sometimes trying to go about everyday life. Starbucks cups, ordering food over the phone, and sometimes even meeting new people can be your worst enemy.
1. Getting your name written on your Starbucks order
Sometimes they ask for the spelling, sometimes they don’t. Either way the name is never right and it’s just not worth repeating for the fourth time. I’ve turned to using a fake Starbucks alias – more simple names that avoid any awkward, “Can you spell that for me?” encounters. I’ve attached a few photos of some personal Starbucks mishaps I’ve received.**
**Note that Lenerd (Leonard) is literally a man’s name. For a man.
2. Ordering take-out
Over the phone or in person, there is a 100% guarantee that you’re going to have to spell it again after saying it at least once, if not twice. The alias technique will work here too – or using one of your friend’s names. It’s all in the best interest of efficiency at this point.
3. Buying personalized souvenirs
Oh, forget about this one. You know when you’re on vacation and they have an entire wall of personalized magnets, license plates, mugs, etc.? You don’t even bother looking, there’s just no way yours is going to be up there. *silently shakes fist at parents for not naming me Amanda*
4. “Sorry, auto correct!”
A phrase I know all too well. The amount of times my friends have texted me meaning to say “Flan”, but has been auto corrected to “Flab”, which is not the best of nicknames to acquire, …it’s out of hand. Of course it’s not their fault (I love you all), but how is auto correct supposed to know what “Flan” is when the context of the conversation isn’t Mexican dessert?
5. S-p-e-l-l-i-n-g i-t o-u-t
Doctor’s offices, customer service, or any kind of appointment you’ve ever tried to make. Eventually you just stop waiting for them to ask and you just spell your name immediately after you say it. You’ll save more time this way.
6. “No, no we need your first name.”
This one honestly baffles me. Do you think I don’t know what my own first name is? I understand that my name in particular can sometimes be a man’s last name (typical), if I’m not mistaken. But if someone asks me for my first name, why would I give them my last? Give me some credit!
7. Class attendance
You brace yourself as they go down the alphabetical list of attendance, thinking maybe this time will be different. But as soon as you hear any kind of hesitation, you quickly jump in and pronounce it first so they don’t have to – they’ll get it eventually.
8. “Wow, where is that from?”
IDK, my parents? A book full of baby names? Where did your name come from, Michael???
9. You’re overly excited when someone gets it right on the first try
AND THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO….
10. On the bright side…
On the bright side, if you have an uncommon name, it’s probably pretty damn cool. So in the midst of the frustration and struggles, chances are you probably receive quite a few compliments on your super-cool, badass name, too. Thanks, mom and dad!