My heart instantly dropped. The boy, emphasis on the boy part, ended our two-year relationship, and just like that, I was heartbroken at the start of the spring semester of my freshman year. It felt like my entire world was crashing. Luckily, I was far away from home, so I could avoid any potential run-ins, but how was I possibly going to avoid my phone?!
Take it from me, it’s hard but worth it, so here’s my guide on how to get over your ex in 10 days.
- Don’t Stalk Their socials
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Unfortunately, it’s inevitable to get the urge to want to see how your ex is doing. Are they miserable? Or even worse, are they happier without me? But, I repeat, do not, under any circumstance, type their username into Instagram and see if they’ve deleted your entire relationship from their page. Social media will just lead you down a rabbit hole, but this time, there is no wonderland.Â
- Channel that anger into movement
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Regardless of the reasons for the breakup, I’m sure you have anger towards them. Don’t worry, it’s natural! I hated my ex for the longest time (if you ask my friends, I still do). With all the pent-up anger, I decided to channel it at the gym. Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson was on REPEAT, and suddenly 45 minutes of stair master flew by. Most importantly, be the best version of yourself. Health is wealth, and at the end of the day, you already won by losing the weight of that ex (don’t go back to them, girl!)
- Journal
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Breakups are never easy. I never thought to journal my breakup; I was too busy crying. But after seeing a million videos on relationship-tok, I caved. Feeling guilty about texting them? Missing them? Write it down! The paper won’t judge you, and you’ll leave feeling 10 times better, I promise, as a certified ex-girlfriend. Navigating healthy coping mechanisms can be scary, but worth it.Â
- Cry, cry and cry
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I suggest investing in waterproof mascara, you’ll need it. I cried a lot. Trust me, get the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, watch the romcom and cry your heart out to your closest friends and family. There’s not too much to say for this section, but don’t forget crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.Â
- Embrace your loved ones
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It’s okay not to be okay. Communicate how you feel to your loved ones. A new perspective on the situation can help you focus on the lessons learned rather than the intense heartache. Talk about it 100 times, or as many times as you need. I’m usually a chatty girl, so just imagine me after the breakup. I talked my freshman year roommate’s ear off! (I’m shocked she wanted to room with me again this year…JK she loves me ;) )
- No contact is a MUST
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I repeat, do not break contact with your ex (more than three times… JK DONT DO IT!). Trust me, I’ve broken no contact more times than I would like to admit, but the ending is always the same. You are beautiful inside and out. Don’t keep going back to someone who doesn’t value you. That being said, if no contact is broken, at least you did it for the plot!
- Self Reflect
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Maybe you didn’t do anything “wrong” in your relationship, but maybe you became too consumed with what “would be” and forgot to prioritize yourself. This was my case. I forgot who I was. Vulnerability is key to this step. Use this as a learning opportunity to recognize your mistakes, your positive attributes and who you want to be. One relationship doesn’t define you; your actions afterwards do.Â
- Delete the Pictures from your phone
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No pictures = no reminiscing! Remember that before you hesitate to erase the pictures of you and their family dog. Of course, it’s okay to keep some (only the ones you look good in.. duh!), but trash the rest.Â
- Don’t drive by their house… or try to run into them
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This section may be controversial (or maybe I’m just crazy?). Trust me, they won’t notice the subtle drive by, and PLEASE don’t go to their favorite spots in hopes you’ll run into them, you won’t (from experience). What’s meant to be will be, and you can’t chase someone who’s already run away.Â
- Learn to let Go
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Once you surpass the four stages of grief, you are left with the last one, a bittersweet acceptance. Conflicted, slightly hopeful they may come back, but deep down knowing you’re better off without them. Letting go is never easy, but so is dating someone you’re not meant to be with. Explore new opportunities and prove to yourself who you really are (that b!tch).
Maybe it takes you 10 days, maybe it takes you eight months, maybe it takes you two years. Everyone heals on their own time and in their own way. I can only hope that my advice guides you in the right direction. Now repeat after me, don’t text them.