Why I Felt Uneasy About Sororities

When I was first year, my main goal at club’s fair was visit the sorority tables. I had been thinking about it before even joining university and I wanted so badly to be a part of a sisterhood. I watch Legally Blonde religiously so when I got to university I thought this was it, this is my time to join a sorority. At clubs fair, I walked by the tables of super girly pink fluffy fabric and tea lights and thought about how dreamy it all looked. I wanted to be part of that. So I approached the girliest, frilliest table at clubs fair. The girls were super nice and welcoming and invited me to their information night. So I went, expecting to sign up to join the sorority on the spot. Little did I know, you have to go through a week of recruitment first, and that recruitment week would change by mind completely about sororities and make me feel uneasy about the whole idea of Greek life. 

 

Disclaimer: I am not in any way putting down the Greek community. They are all lovely girls and humans and are super friendly. And in no way do they make these rules up, most are just following protocol. I have nothing but love and envy for these girls and respect their decision.

 

  1. 1. The Cost.... Yikes

    I know it costs a lot of money to host social and philanthropy events, pay for merchandise, and fund a sorority house. However, with tuition being as extremely high as it is, being asked to pay anywhere from $1,200- 1,400 a year is crazy. And that’s if you’re not living in the house. Rent is a whole other story. For a girl who struggles with tuition, there was no way I could afford this, even if there are payment plans and financial plans. You’re asking me to join a club that's about making friends and having support systems, but I have to pay for it? I’m already paying for an expensive education. Not everyone can afford joining and that puts a lot of people in a hard place; they want to belong to a group and have friends and form lasting bonds with people but they have no way of affording it or getting money to afford it long term. It’s fine to charge a little like most clubs but anything over a grand is kinda steep.

     

  2. 2. The Dressing Up and Meeting the Chapters

    I like the idea but I find it a little silly. For a week you go to each chapter or house and meet the different girls from each house. I like the idea and concept of knowing what each house is about, but dressing up? Am I on the bachelor or bachelorette? Do I get a rose? Please tell me why dressing super formal to meet some girls who are supposed to accept me for me matters. What’s the difference between wearing jeans and a t-shirt or a dress shirt? Get to know me as a person and don’t judge me on how I dress. 

     

  3. 3. Bid Day: I Am Not a Product or Prize, Please Do Not Bid On Me

    Probably the most off-putting thing about this experience was the phrase bid day. That made my jaw clench. When I typically think of bidding, I think of something that means I won a product or prize. Or those really tacky events where girls bid for a guy to go on a date with them for charity.  I am sorry but I am not an object or prize. I don’t want there to be competition over me or someone placing me someone because they think I’ll fit in that group. Because to be honest, I don’t fit into one particular group or idea. I am all over the place and uniquely me. To be honest, I find it just very rude. A common scenario is this: some girl wanted to join a certain chapter and picked that house to be in their top 3 choices of where they want to end up gets turned down by that house because that house wanted other girls more than her. So now that girl who didn't get chosen to be in the house she wanted is questioning herself. Why wasn't I good enough, what’s wrong with me? No. This is also basically the opposite of what sororities preach. They preach sisterhood and friendship but first you have to be judged by what you wear and what you say and then maybe they’ll let you into their club but now before you’re voted on? No. I understand they take a certain amount of people and everyone will get to join a chapter but bidding isn’t a way to do it. 

     

  4. 4. You Can’t Promise Undying Sisterhood

    This one is obvious. “Join us for undying sisterhood”, “we will always be sisters”. You can’t promise that. You can’t promise forever. You can say you’ll always be sorority sisters but you can’t say you’ll be BFF’s forever. People move away after university, just like high school, and you say you will keep in touch. But you move away or you get busy with work, or even get married, and it becomes harder and harder to keep in touch. Yes, a lot of people do stay in touch and remain friends. But the majority probably won’t. It’s called life.

     

  5. 5. It Felt Like A High School Clique

    Yeah, ok. You have friends outside your sorority chapter that you hang out with as well. But remember in high school when there were clicks and groups that only really hung out with people inside their group and they all wore the same thing? It’s exactly like that. There’s me and then there’s you guys. Sitting together, talking, wearing your matching t shirts. You belong to a special group and everyone else is an outsider. Not all sorority girls are mean, but the bad apples really stand out. They think they're better than everyone else, even better than other sororities or clubs, because they belong to the “pretty” house or the “party” house. And they let you know they think that too. It sounds an awful lot like high school doesn't it?

  6. 6. Some Chapters Don’t Hang Out With Other Greeks

    I have seen this and heard about this. I even looked this up on greek rank. Some chapters out there don’t hang out with other chapters, for philanthropy or events. They hang out with their chapter only and only do a few events per year but all they want to do is party. And as much as that’s a stereotype sometimes that’s true. They will do the bare minimum that is required and not do anything else and it makes other chapters not want to hang out with them. The whole point of Greek life is to develop social skills and be leaders in the community but you can’t do that by only partying or going to chapter meetings. Show your leadership on campus please.

     

All in all, chapters are really great and just like university, they are about leadership and community and being a part of something that’s bigger than themselves. They offer a place for people to belong to help survive the craziness that is college/university. Majority of greek members are sweet hearts and will talk to everyone and don’t put themselves above others. They do their best to support each other and their community and I respect that completely. But as someone who thought about joining, a lot of stuff that made me feel uneasy and kept me from joining. Sororities just weren't what I was expecting them to be or wanting them to be. However, as a second year, I have found that community I was looking for within Her Campus and other small campus clubs, and to be honest, I couldn't be happier.