Long-distance relationships can be incredibly difficult. Not only are they difficult, but
they are also portrayed as being either the end of the road when it comes to romance or a futile
effort put forth by those who refuse to accept reality. However, despite what you may see in
movies and the media, long-distance relationships are not always doomed to fail. The entirety of
my husband and I’s relationship–two years of dating and eight months of marriage–has been
long distance. However, that all ends this week (cue the confetti)! We survived. And here’s how:
- We Called/Facetimed Each Other Everyday
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Every day, even if it was only for 15 minutes, we would call each other to discuss how
each of our days went, what we were having for dinner, and what we each had in store for
the next day. On the evenings when we had a little bit more time, we would often
facetime, even if we weren’t doing anything exciting. Countless hours on facetime were
spent practically ignoring the other person while cooking dinner or doing homework.
While this might sound strange, spending time together virtually–even if we were
occupied with other things–strengthened our relationship and made the distance all but
disappear for that short amount of time.
- We Appreciated The Limited Time We Had Together
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When you don’t get to see your partner every day, it’s incredibly important that you really
appreciate the time you do get to spend together. Sure, maybe sitting on the couch
together binging Netflix all weekend might be boring. However, getting to sit on the couch
binging Netflix all weekend with your partner you don’t see every day is time spent
together nonetheless. When you appreciate even the monotonous or boring times you get
to spend with your partner, you inevitably appreciate your partner more as well.
- We Celebrated The Small Things
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Whether someone got a great grade on a paper, finished their midterms, or even if it was
a long weekend (which feels like you won the lottery when you only see your partner on
weekends!), we always made sure to make a big deal about it. While this may seem
ridiculous, my partner and I felt like by celebrating the small things, we were reminding
the other that we care about the other’s success and happiness.
- We Planned– A Lot!
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Perhaps the most critical aspect of making a long-distance relationship work is planning.
Not only does this keep both you and your partner on the same page, having a plan as to
when the next time you will see your partner gives you something to look forward to.
Additionally, planning who is coming to see who can help keep things feeling fair,
preventing feelings of frustration and resentment from coming to light.
- We Were Open and Honest About Our Feelings–Both Good and Bad
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Sometimes, being apart from your partner just plain sucks. Feelings of sadness,
loneliness, and even frustration were all common in our time apart. However, I’ve found
that if you bottle these feelings up it can be quite easy to feel resentment towards your
partner. By expressing your hard feelings, you and your partner can address what it is you
might be lacking and move on. Likewise, when you feel thankful, happy, or like you just
couldn’t love your partner more, tell them! Expressing these happy thoughts and feelings
is incredibly important to maintaining your relationship.