Being single is always something everyone dreads, it seems scary and lonely… and maybe it is, you just have to learn to see the beauty in it. My single years have been the best without me even realizing it. They taught me that it is okay to be alone, that I don’t need to rely on a man for my happiness. The “loneliness” I was feeling was fear that I will forever be single, but what is so wrong with that? You truly can’t love someone else without knowing yourself. Here is how I learned to higher my standards, love myself, and cherish the single season I am in.
Self Dating
Taking yourself out on dates seems like such a foreign concept. At first I thought it would look weird if I went to a restaurant alone, but I had to learn that no one cares to pay attention to those things. Taking care of yourself and taking yourself to different places opens your mind to different things that you didn’t even know were out there. For example, you may find out that you do like to go on library dates or maybe you thought you liked a certain restaurant but turns out you don’t. Although you can do all of these things WITH a partner, it brings a peaceful feeling, that you don’t need to pretend to like something just because someone you like does. This overall reason for self dating is getting to know more about yourself and the things you love to do. So one day you can experience it with the person you love 10 times more.
Learning your worth
When you’re constantly in the dating pool, or getting into new relationships, you will find that not a lot of people know how to treat their partners. You get lost in the adrenaline that you forget that YOU’RE important and you have your wants and needs. We often stay with what we think we deserve. This time in solitude can help you understand your worth and teach you that you deserve a partner that values you. This single season for you can also help you develop higher standards for yourself, due to finding what you want and don’t want. Whether it was just through learning or through past experiences. It is okay to go on dates and meet new people, it helps you figure out that you might want something more than what you have been receiving, whether that means physically, emotionally, and sexually.
Grow on your own
It’s rarely talked about that when you’re in a relationship, it in a way can hold you back from living life to your fullest potential (this is not ALL relationships). I’m not talking about dating around or meeting new people, I’m talking about getting to know new places, traveling on your own, gaining your own persona, and the most important would have to be gaining new friendships. Although most can argue that you can do all of these things while with someone, it IS different. You experience these things with someone else, so in a way those stories that you will one day look back on, they involve someone else, not just YOU.
Being on your own doesn’t have to be scary. I have been single for 4 years and I don’t regret a single thing. I have laughed, cried, explored, came to college, and discovered a whole new world. One day when all of us meet our person, we will be ready because we DID get to learn on our own. Whether you’ve never had a relationship, or just got out of one.. You WILL be okay.